IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people Why might this be the cause? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

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In some regions, having a
house
Use synonyms
 is more important than renting an apartment. In my perspective, it is about financial abilities, because
this
Linking Words
 can show off their asset. I will elaborate more on
this
Linking Words
 topic in the following paragraphs. To start with, a
house
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 is very expensive in the urban area, and only rich
people
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 can afford
one
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.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
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 would like to buy
one
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 in order to present how rich they are.
People
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 who live in a megacity usually rent a flat. For many of them, buying a
house
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 in those locations is impossible. I guess only the successful businessmen can own
one
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. An apartment is usually cheaper to rent. In the city like New York, London, Chicago, and so on, they are very crowded. You can not see many small houses in the downtown.
However
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, you can see numerous skyscrapers there. If you want to buy a
house
Use synonyms
, I will say it is better to purchase
one
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 in a countryside area. I personally believe it will have a negative effect, because nowadays a lot of Chinese like to buy real estate for investment, and they like Western countries.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the residents of those countries can not buy houses, owing to the Chinese owners. Chinese would like to earn more profits, and they like to sell houses at higher prices. Nations
such
Linking Words
 as the United States, the United Kingdom, France, and the like are suffering from
this
Linking Words
 problem. In a nutshell,
people
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 tend to show their financial status through
house
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 buying.
However
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, it is causing a lot of economic difficulties in many places. I think we should have to do something about
this
Linking Words
.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score in task achievement, try to explore the topic more fully. Provide clearer and more detailed examples to support your points. Discuss the societal and personal reasons for prioritizing homeownership over renting in more depth.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on organizing your essay more logically. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. Use cohesive devices like transition words and phrases to link your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Make sure you present balanced viewpoints where applicable. When discussing the negative aspects, briefly mention any potential positives to show a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and discusses why homeownership might be important and whether this is a positive or negative situation.
coherence cohesion
You provide a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoints. This is important for the overall structure of your essay.
task achievement
You make a clear distinction between urban and rural areas, which adds depth to your discussion about the high cost of homeownership in urban areas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Homeownership
  • Investment
  • Cultural significance
  • Financial security
  • Equity
  • Appreciation
  • Societal norms
  • Peer pressure
  • Social status
  • Stability
  • Lease renewal
  • Personal freedom
  • Modify
  • Property values
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