Some people think that drug addicts should be treated like criminals and sent to jails, while others believe that they should be treated like patients and sent to hospital. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some
people
belief
that Replace the word
believe
drug
addicts
must be treated like criminals. Another belief
that
they should be treated like cancer patients and sent to Add a missing verb
is that
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
hospital
for rehabilitation Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
Change preposition
of their
their
Change preposition
of their
addicts
. i
Change the capitalization
I
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
belief
that they must sent to Replace the word
believe
jails
. Fix the agreement mistake
jail
this
essay will discuss both views.
on the one hand, some people
said
that Wrong verb form
say
drug
addicts
must get a punishment when they use drug
in the wrong path. Fix the agreement mistake
drugs
This
is because,
they must ensure Remove the comma
apply
drug
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
not
repeat what they do. Add a missing verb
do not
Moreover
, almost of drug
addict
will lead to commit Fix the agreement mistake
addicts
another crimes
. Replace the adjective
another crime
other crimes
For example
, In USA
, Correct article usage
the USA
the
Correct article usage
apply
drug
addicts
will do
robbery or theft to Verb problem
commit
fullfil
their needs when they face Correct your spelling
fulfil
the
Correct article usage
apply
addiction
. this
phenomenon has direct result
Replace the word
directly resulted
to
the highest number of Change preposition
in
criminal
in Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
USA
in the Correct article usage
the USA
last
20 years. moreover
, some people
think they must protect the society from the drug
addicts
. they fear the
Correct your spelling
that
drug
user will spread their influence to the young
generation
Correct word choice
younger
on the other hand
, some people
belief
Replace the word
believe
the
Correct your spelling
that
drug
addicts
should be treated like a
serious Correct article usage
apply
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
such
as cancer or diabetic
. they think that Replace the word
diabetes
drug
addicts
must go the
hospital to get rehabilitation. they feel that Change preposition
to the
drug
addicts
are still human
who need Fix the agreement mistake
humans
a
treatment Remove the article
apply
for curing
their Change preposition
to cure
addiction
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
the
Correct article usage
apply
criminal
. Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
furthermore
, they belief
that Replace the word
believe
drug
addicts
still have the
future when they Correct article usage
a
cured
Add a missing verb
are cured
from
Change preposition
of
addiction
.
they think that the man who become
Change the verb form
becomes
the
Correct article usage
a
drug
addicts
have a reason why he Fix the agreement mistake
addict
use
Change the verb form
uses
the
drugs and must find Correct article usage
apply
solution
to the root causes of Add an article
a solution
the solution
addiction
.
in conclusion, there are
Change the verb form
is
fact
that some Add an article
the fact
people
said
Wrong verb form
say
the
Correct article usage
apply
drug
addicts
must be treated like criminal
and another views Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
said
that Wrong verb form
say
drug
addicts
must be treated like a
Correct article usage
apply
patient
, i completely Fix the agreement mistake
patients
belief
that Replace the word
believe
drug
addicts
must be treated like a
Correct article usage
apply
criminal
to make they Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
given
up and surrender to use a Wrong verb form
give
drug
.Submitted by rifkiw1205 on
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Introduction and Conclusion
To strengthen your essay, ensure that your introduction and conclusion are directly addressing the question. While you've stated your opinion, integrating a clear thesis statement in your introduction could provide a stronger foundation.
Coherence and Cohesion
A varied sentence structure and more transitional phrases could enhance the reading flow and coherence between your ideas.
Lexical Resource
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express your points more precisely. Avoid repetitions and aim for synonym usage to enrich your language.
Task Response
Providing more specific examples and citing credible sources could significantly enhance the persuasiveness and relevance of your arguments.
Task Achievement
You have presented both views on the issue, which is a critical requirement of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay's structure, with distinct paragraphs for each view, aids in reader understanding.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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