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Band 7

Nowadays, traffic is a serious problem in big cities. Why this is so and what effects does it bring?

#traffic #cities #effects
In
this
 day and age,
traffic
 congestion has become a huge
problem
 in many developed cities. I believe the reasons for
this
 are the ever-climbing number of
vehicles
 and poor
traffic
 discipline. Like any
problem
,
this
 can
also
 be fixed.
People
 can take public
transport
 rather than travel in their own
vehicles
, and governments can take the initiative and make
traffic
 rules stricter. The major issue is that more
people
 are buying their own
vehicles
 in order to commute to places.
This
 increases the number of
vehicles
 on the road at a given time. Since many roads are not big enough to accommodate
this
 many cars, it leads to a
traffic
 jam.
Apart from
this
, the other
problem
 is that many civilians are driving recklessly and follow no
traffic
 rules. These types of acts slow down the flow of
traffic
, resulting in the halting of
vehicles
 on the roads.
For instance
, research reveals that more than 70% of Indians disregard
traffic
 signals and road lines. The only way to deal with the increase in the number of
vehicles
 is by encouraging
people
 to take public
transport
. Japan is one of the few countries with a majority of
people
 who use public
transport
, so there is no
traffic
 congestion.
Finally
, governments should impose punishments on
people
 who disobey
traffic
 rules. There can be a huge fine or temporary confiscation of the license in order to make
people
 drive in an orderly manner. In conclusion, public
transport
 can tackle the
problem
 of the increase in vehicle numbers, and being strict with lawbreakers can deter them from making the same mistakes again.
Submitted by sajeendranrajakumar on

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a strong understanding of the topic and addresses both the reasons for traffic congestion and potential solutions. However, expanding on how governments can specifically implement stricter rules and provide additional examples could strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are clearly expressed, ensure that all paragraphs are cohesive with one idea flowing smoothly into the next. Improving the use of transition words will enhance the overall flow of the essay.
structure
You have successfully presented a clear introduction and conclusion, making your essay well-rounded and easy to follow.
examples
The essay includes relevant specific examples such as the situation in Japan and research findings about Indian drivers, which make your arguments more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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