A person’s health is their own responsibility rather than the government’s responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is believed by many that personal fitness is an individual's own responsibility and not a part of governmental responsibilities.
However
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, I disagree with
this
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sentiment and believe that
while
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people do bear some responsibility for their
health
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, the
government
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should
also
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take part in providing accessible Healthcare to its citizens, as
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health
Replace the word
healthy
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individuals are valuable contributors to economic growth and without regulations, false
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hinder their efforts to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Having members who are disease-free and physically fit is an invaluable asset to the
government
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of any country. Without the presence of healthy individuals, the money and time spent on important issues
such
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as country security and education will be wasted. Spending money on better teaching equipment ,
for example
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, would be a futile endeavour in the absence of physically fit teachers.
For
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this
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reason, It is imperative that the
government
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allocates funds to exercise programs and educational initiatives that equip citizens with the necessary tools to uphold a healthy lifestyle. The increasing prevalence of junk food
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,
coupled with
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false
advertisements
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have had detrimental effects on personal nutrition. Companies
such
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as Kellogg's cereal, falsely exaggerate the nutritional benefits provided by their cereals,
similarly
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, fast food companies
such
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as McDonald's consistently advertise their products without disclosing their nutritional information.
Consequently
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,
this
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leaves the average citizen blindsighted and misguided about nutrition.
Therefore
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, without strict regulations on false
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by the state, maintaining a healthy life becomes unachievable. In conclusion, personal
health
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is a multifaceted issue that necessitates collaboration between individuals and the
government
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. Regulations on food
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and the allocation of funds to nutritional programs can prove invaluable in promoting personal
health
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.

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Expand Vocabulary and Details
To further enhance your essay, it might help to expand on the specific roles each, individuals and government, could play in ensuring health. Including more varied vocabulary related to health and governance could also strengthen your argument.
Incorporate More Examples
Although you've made good arguments, strive to present even more concrete examples to support your claims. This could include statistics, studies, or notable health initiatives by governments worldwide.
Introduction and Conclusion
You effectively introduced and concluded your essay, creating a solid framework for your argument.
Logical Structure and Transitions
Your essay flows well, thanks to the logical structuring of paragraphs and clear transition between ideas.
Relevance of Examples
You've chosen relevant examples to support the idea that the government plays a role in citizens' health, enhancing the persuasive element of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal accountability
  • health outcomes
  • public health campaigns
  • regulations
  • healthcare services
  • environmental quality
  • socio-economic factors
  • governmental intervention
  • healthy living
  • informed health decisions
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