Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures

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Some

criminals

are punished once and

then

engage in many more crimes.

This

problem may be related to the inability of

criminals

to find

work

after release. The reasons

as well as

the effects of

this

issue will be discussed in

this

essay. First of all, the majority of prisons do not teach the rules of conduct to the offenders.

In other words

, the lack of rehabilitation can cause it. If

criminals

are not trained in

parisons

Correct your spelling

prisons

show examples

, they will come out again and do bad things.

On the other hand

, they should not put them

together with

other criminal

Change the wording

another criminal

other criminals

show examples

. Which leads them to do bad

work

. Another reason can be the lack of

work

because after

criminals

get out of jail, they are looking for

work

. If they do not find

the

Correct article usage

show examples

job they resort to crime again.

Correct your spelling

One

show examples

of the main

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

this

problem is for the government to provide funding and monitor them after they are released from

prison

. If some rules are established and controlled before they go out into

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, they will not do these things. Another key solution is to provide them with employment upon release from

prison

. The government should be very careful in

this

matter. They should be employed so that they can engage in more crimes and pay

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

needs.

This

solution would hopefully prevent them from taking any chances and deter them from reoffending because after they get out of

prison

, they need a job and want to earn money.

To sum up

, some various

criminals

continue to commit crimes after they are released from

prison

This

can be avoided if the government implements some solutions.

Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on Thu May 02 2024

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Content

Work on developing clear, concise main points in each paragraph. Supporting these points with examples or further explanation will strengthen your argument.

Language

It's important to correct grammatical mistakes and ensure proper sentence structures to enhance readability.

Vocabulary

Avoid repetition and aim for a range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.

Task Engagement

You have engaged with the task and presented relevant ideas and solutions to the issue at hand.

Logical Structure

There is a logical flow to your essay, indicating an understanding of how to structure your thoughts coherently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
rehabilitation programs
social stigma
ex-convicts
reintegration
support systems
mental health issues
addiction problems
criminal networks
incarceration

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Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

Fully explain your ideas

Since traffic is such a problem in modern cities, private cars should not be allowed in city centres. Discuss the arguments for and against this statement. What do you think we should do about the problem of traffic in city centres?

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is best to save money, for example in a bank or savings scheme. Other people feel that money should be spent whenever it is available. Discuss these views and reach an opinion on this debate.