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Band 5.5

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem.

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures
Some
criminals
 are punished once and
then
 engage in many more crimes.
This
 problem may be related to the inability of
criminals
 to find
work
 after release. The reasons
as well as
 the effects of
this
 issue will be discussed in
this
 essay. First of all, the majority of prisons do not teach the rules of conduct to the offenders.
In other words
, the lack of rehabilitation can cause it. If
criminals
 are not trained in
parisons
Correct your spelling
prisons
show examples
, they will come out again and do bad things.
On the other hand
, they should not put them
together with
other criminal
Change the wording
another criminal
other criminals
show examples
. Which leads them to do bad
work
. Another reason can be the lack of
work
 because after
criminals
 get out of jail, they are looking for
work
. If they do not find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 job they resort to crime again.
On
Correct your spelling
One
show examples
 of the main
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to
this
 problem is for the government to provide funding and monitor them after they are released from
prison
. If some rules are established and controlled before they go out into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, they will not do these things. Another key solution is to provide them with employment upon release from
prison
. The government should be very careful in
this
 matter. They should be employed so that they can engage in more crimes and pay
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
 needs.
This
 solution would hopefully prevent them from taking any chances and deter them from reoffending because after they get out of
prison
, they need a job and want to earn money.
To sum up
, some various
criminals
 continue to commit crimes after they are released from
prison
.
This
 can be avoided if the government implements some solutions.
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on

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Content
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Language
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Vocabulary
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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