Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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this

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day and age, the significance of

education

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has been recognized. Some

people

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perceive that adolescents should acquire full-time

education

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in an academic centre till adulthood. I strongly agree with the argument that studying full-time is imperative and it is holistic.

To begin

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with,

education

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plays a vital role in individual life as it provides a myriad of opportunities in the near future.

In addition

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, a youngster who spends full time in academic sectors has benefits for growing students the

person

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led astray to bad companions

instead

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of spending time in assistance and accompaniment will inculcate indispensable good habits that will need to ameliorate life.

As a result

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people

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are less influenced by bad company and delinquent things.

Furthermore

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, the subjects like maths, literature, language, science and geography

due to

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learning these individuals can understand about global village and use

this

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knowledge to concur in a competitive community.

On the other hand

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, young

people

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who are confined to studies have some detrimental effects as it limits the

person

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's abilities and potential.

Although

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Remove the comma

apply

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it is essential for survival in society that

person

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should be good at academics

as well as

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in curriculum. At present, Many schooling offers academics

together with

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other activities ,

for example

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, sports, arts, music etc.

As a consequence

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people

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know and recognise their real potential and talent as some students are persuaded to do other activities as a career prior to their interest.

To conclude

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education

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is invaluable for anyone in

this

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modern era as it imparts an individual with tremendous opportunities to combat in society.

On the contrary

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, it is irrefutable that other activities are

also

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necessary to fill the colour in life and recognise the true talent of a

person

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while

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studying.

seharfazal9Fri May 03 2024

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Structure

Try to ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs with topic sentences that directly relate to the question. This helps the reader to navigate through your essay more effectively.

Examples

Provide more specific examples to support your points. Real-world examples or data can enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.

Accuracy

Review your essay for any grammatical errors or inaccuracies. While minor, they can detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Argument

Consider exploring counterarguments more deeply to strengthen your position. Acknowledging opposing views and then refuting them can make your argument more compelling.

Introduction

Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and your stance, providing a clear roadmap for the reader.

Content

You have successfully developed main points with explanations, which shows a deep understanding of the topic.

Flow

The essay flows logically, with coherent transitions between paragraphs, aiding in the overall readability.

17
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fundamental cornerstone
literacy and numeracy
social inequalities
foundation of knowledge
social mobility
informed and engaged citizenry
democratic processes
youth crime rates
productive activities
vocational training
workforce
stifling individual talent
economic contribution
stress and mental health issues
unsuitable educational system
one-size-fits-all approach
diverse talents
career paths
formal academic education
financial strains
low-income countries
improving quality of education

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Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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