IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

the following chart shows the adults of different ages of the UK who use the internet everyday.

the following chart shows the adults of different ages of the UK who use the internet everyday.
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The bar chart illustrates the fraction of people in five different age groups using the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 from 2003 to 2006.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 most
internet
Use synonyms
 users are individuals between 16-24 and older generations whose
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
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 are more than 65 barely use the network.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the trend of using the
internet
Use synonyms
 in four consecutive years seems to be exactly the same.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the young generation (16-24) came in first place throughout the period.
However
Linking Words
, in the first two years, it had the same proportion which was at 80%
then
Linking Words
 surged to 100% in 2005,
as well as
Linking Words
 dropping to 90% in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
 was not interesting for old people (65+) in 2003 but
then
Linking Words
, in 2004 it jumped to roughly 15% and fluctuated to 20% in 2006.
Additionally
Linking Words
, The 25-44 adults started at approximately 50% in 2003 and continuously rose by 10% each year and it reached 80% in 2006. The 45-54 citizens
also
Linking Words
 had the same trajectory as in the previous group which escalated by 5%, it began at 60% and ended at 80% in 2006.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
 group which was around 55-64 was at 30% in 2003 and swang to 50% in 2006.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words internet with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital Literacy
  • Internet Penetration
  • Technological Proficiency
  • Online Presence
  • Access to Information
  • Generational Gap
  • Cyberspace
  • Connectivity
  • Social Networking
  • Digital Native
  • Digital Immigrant
  • User Demographics
  • Broadband Access
  • Digital Inclusion
  • Tech-Savvy
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