IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013
#people #usa #food #restaurants
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
, how often
American's
Change noun form
Americans
show examples
 consumed fast food in restaurants over a period of 10 years between 2003 and 2013. Looking from
Linking Words
overall
Add an article
an overall
the overall
show examples
 perspective,
least
Change preposition
at least
show examples
 folks prefer to eat
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every day
as well as
Linking Words
 never .
Majority
Add an article
The majority
show examples
 ate once in week and twice
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a month which is
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 in
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
 chart . Starting with people who eat
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 is under 5% in 2003 ,2006 and 2013 respectively .
While
Linking Words
 several times a week approximately 17 % in 2003 ,exactly 20%
2006
Change preposition
in 2006
show examples
 and just over
15%in
Correct your spelling
15 in
 2013 .But Once in a week above 30% in 2003 followed by around 33% in 2006 ,
between
Correct word choice
and between
show examples
 25% to 30% in 2013 . 
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , once or twice a month in 2003 and 2013
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and 25 per
cent
Use synonyms
 respectively and approximately 33 per
cent
Use synonyms
 .
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 a few times a year is in the middle of 10 and 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2003 where
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
similar
Add an article
a similar
the similar
show examples
 position with 15 per
cent
Use synonyms
 in 2006 and 2013. Public who never visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
restaurants
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 below 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in all given years.
Submitted by nikhilguni on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Frequency
  • Dining trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Peak periods
  • Downward/upward trend
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Economic impact
  • Health implications
  • Convenience foods
  • Eating habits
  • Statistical evidence
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Fluctuation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: