Some people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for everybody. Discuss both views
There is an ongoing debate over whether
government
should spend budgets for everybody or the top Add an article
the government
athletes
. In my point of view, It is important to establish sufficient sport
facilities for the public to satisfy their exercise needs, but I do believe Change the noun form
sports
distribute
a proper portion of money to professional Wrong verb form
distributing
athletes
is also
necessary, it is dedicated to them to fulfill
personal achievements.
On one hand, spending more money on constructing comprehensive sports infrastructures Change the spelling
fulfil
encourage
people to develop outdoor habits and can help Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
with
advocate the benefits of fitness in society. Change preposition
apply
Also
, establish
Wrong verb form
establishing
such
public facilities enable
children to have easy access to these resources Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
in
the intention of exploring Change preposition
with
for
future career options.
Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
, it is also
important to ensure the talented to be
properly educated and provided with adequate resources. Investing in Change the verb form
are
athletes
encourage
them to pursue personal ambitions. A comprehensive supportive system serves a crucial role for Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
athletes
, it allows them to focus on performances and goals rather than basic daily needs. Moreover
, the
great achievements in sports-related fields Correct article usage
apply
aspires
the public and can make Verb problem
inspire
contribution
to Add an article
a contribution
the
society in terms of encouragement and advocacy.
Correct article usage
apply
To sum up
, it is important to provide the majorities
a Fix the agreement mistake
majority with
sports friendly
environment. It allows people to develop healthy relationships with sports. It is Add a hyphen
sports-friendly
also
crucial to focus on the one
with Correct pronoun usage
ones
potentials
and provide them with extra resources for realizing Fix the agreement mistake
potential
full
potential.Correct pronoun usage
their full
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Examples
Be sure to provide specific examples to strengthen your argument. This will help clarify your points and make your essay more compelling.
Development
Consider expanding on how sports facilities specifically benefit top athletes and the general public differently. Elaborating on this could enhance the depth of your analysis.
Grammar
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and improve your sentence structure for clarity and precision. For instance, adjusting phrasing for smoother readability and accuracy.
Introduction & Conclusion
Introduction and conclusion are present and functional, but refining them for stronger impact could amplify your essay’s effectiveness. Consider a more engaging introduction and a more resonant conclusion.
Task Response
The essay discusses both views in a balanced manner, showing an understanding of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Logical structure and progression of ideas are clear, aiding the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
Content Depth
The consideration of both societal and individual benefits of sports facilities showcases a good range of thought.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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