Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is argued by 2 groups of the crowds if time spent on entertainment on the screen is valuable for children, In my aspect, I'd say that it depends on the effects after usage.
At first glance, in
this
day and age, most parents let their kids spend time on the phone, watching videos and playing computer games, owing to the dearth of attention resulting from both the excessive number of work and the stress, besides
that, undeniably, those entertainments are considered a great attention grabber regarding many reasons commonly seen, however
, the young are able to consume effective press as well. For instance
, by watching cartoons without the mother tongue, the kids can learn and apply new languages in real life such
as talking with their teachers and browsing foreign topics, furthermore
, it is a development occurring in one's life.
On the contrary
, some folks believe that there are many negative effects when it comes to watching unnecessary programs since sometimes those clips can hurt teenagers either mentally or physically, additionally
, the kids are led into bad habits by others. For example
, drug abuse is one of the incidents which can be caused by being convinced by online friends or videos regardless of the consequences, hence
, small folks are usually persuaded to go outside by their parents to ensure that no bad deeds happen.
To sum up
, a large amount of individuals do not pay attention to the results of screen time, in parallel, some realise and are afraid of the influence. In my opinion, I opine that despite being able to be persuaded badly, adolescents can also
reap and appreciate the benefits.Submitted by nutthan.aud on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. A more explicit thesis statement could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
While discussing both views and your own opinion, try to clearly differentiate between them. This helps in making your argument more coherent and compelling.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed and supported throughout. Transition words can help link your ideas more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Consider using more specific examples to support your points. This adds weight to your arguments and makes them more persuasive.
Task Achievement
The conclusion should succinctly summarize your discussion and restate your personal viewpoint more clearly to leave a strong impression on the reader.
Task Achievement
Good attempt at addressing both sides of the argument and providing your own opinion.
Task Achievement
Effective use of examples to illustrate your points, even if more specificity could enhance them.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay shows an effort to use varied vocabulary to express your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.