Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #television #video #computer #games #children #beleve #effects #child #development

It is argued by 2 groups of the crowds if time spent on entertainment on the screen is valuable for children, In my aspect, I'd say that it depends on the effects after usage. At first glance, in

this

day and age, most parents let their kids spend time on the phone, watching videos and playing computer games, owing to the dearth of attention resulting from both the excessive number of work and the stress,

besides

that, undeniably, those entertainments are considered a great attention grabber regarding many reasons commonly seen,

however

, the young are able to consume effective press as well.

For instance

, by watching cartoons without the mother tongue, the kids can learn and apply new languages in real life

such

as talking with their teachers and browsing foreign topics,

furthermore

, it is a development occurring in one's life.

On the contrary

, some folks believe that there are many negative effects when it comes to watching unnecessary programs since sometimes those clips can hurt teenagers either mentally or physically,

additionally

, the kids are led into bad habits by others.

For example

, drug abuse is one of the incidents which can be caused by being convinced by online friends or videos regardless of the consequences,

hence

, small folks are usually persuaded to go outside by their parents to ensure that no bad deeds happen.

To sum up

, a large amount of individuals do not pay attention to the results of screen time, in parallel, some realise and are afraid of the influence. In my opinion, I opine that despite being able to be persuaded badly, adolescents can

also

reap and appreciate the benefits.

Submitted by nutthan.aud on Fri May 03 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint. A more explicit thesis statement could strengthen your argument.

Task Achievement

While discussing both views and your own opinion, try to clearly differentiate between them. This helps in making your argument more coherent and compelling.

Coherence & Cohesion

To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is developed and supported throughout. Transition words can help link your ideas more smoothly.

Task Achievement

Consider using more specific examples to support your points. This adds weight to your arguments and makes them more persuasive.

Task Achievement

The conclusion should succinctly summarize your discussion and restate your personal viewpoint more clearly to leave a strong impression on the reader.

Task Achievement

Good attempt at addressing both sides of the argument and providing your own opinion.

Task Achievement

Effective use of examples to illustrate your points, even if more specificity could enhance them.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your essay shows an effort to use varied vocabulary to express your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

educational content
documentaries
enhance knowledge
hand-eye coordination
problem-solving skills
interactive gameplay
computer literacy
sedentary lifestyle
childhood obesity
social skills
peer interaction
exposure
inappropriate behavior
influence negatively

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Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that in order to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately owned vehicles should be banned in city centers, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution.

Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe the professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.