Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

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There is less and less

population

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in the countryside and more and more

population

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in the cities because people in all corners of the country tend to migrate to big metropolises. Whether

this

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phenomenon is positive or negative is questionable. I believe,

however

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, that it could have a negative impact on people’s lives and

this

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essay will extensively outline why

this

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could be a negative occurrence. Migration from rural areas increases the

population

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in urban areas.

Population

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density in urban areas can lead to a scarcity of houses and create problems,

such

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as rising rents.

This

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causes people to prefer to not have a house or be homeless and live in public facilities,

such

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as at the roadside or under bridges.

Furthermore

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, increased

population

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may pollute the area’s air as the use of private vehicles increases. These vehicles will emit harmful emissions and can affect the earth's atmosphere. for illustration, the pollution level of the city of Jakarta in Indonesia reached the worst level and one of the causes is the large number of vehicles that cannot be controlled. The movement of rural people to cities means that in the long run, there will be fewer local farmers in the countryside.

This

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will have a full impact on the agricultural industry and could lead to food crises and famine.

For example

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, production of fresh fruits and vegetables will decrease and prices will rise dramatically.

In addition

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, the

population

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in cities will increase significantly and

this

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overpopulation will put more pressure on resources

due to

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growing demand. In conclusion, it seems to me that

this

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has a negative impact on individuals and society because it causes housing shortages and local labour shortages in the countryside resulting in a food crisis.

bonarpasaribuuFri May 03 2024

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Logical Structure

Ensure consistency in the development of your arguments to maintain a natural flow. While your essay is well-structured, certain areas could benefit from smoother transitions between ideas.

Cohesion

Consider a more varied use of linking words and phrases to enhance the cohesion of your essay. This will help in connecting ideas more seamlessly.

Specific Examples

To further strengthen your response, integrate a broader range of specific examples. While the examples provided are relevant, more diverse illustrations could enrich your essay's depth.

General

Be attentive to small typographical and grammatical errors as they may slightly distract the reader. Regular proofreading will help minimize these mistakes.

Introduction and Conclusion

You have effectively introduced and concluded your essay, clearly framing the topic and summarizing your arguments.

Complete Response

Your essay provides a thorough and comprehensive response to the task, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Relevant Examples

You have used relevant examples to support your main points, such as the environmental and social impact of urban migration in Jakarta, which helps to anchor your arguments in real-world contexts.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Urbanization
Amenities
Economic prospects
Overcrowding
Traffic congestion
Pollution
Agricultural abandonment
Cultural diversity
Innovation
Cultural heritage
Family ties
Infrastructure
Public services
Sustainable urban planning
Rural revitalization

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Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, it is very easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, this causes some people to have problems with debts they cannot pay back. Do you think the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many doctors say that people in today’s world do not do enough physical exercise. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions are there to this problem?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social prblems as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statements?