Modern Society and Income. Discuss modern attitude to money and how they have changed over the year. Pay particular attention to how people of different professions are rewarded financially.

#society #income #attitude #money #year #attention #people #professions

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Currently, we are witnessing how physical coins and bills are being replaced by credit and debit cards in modern culture. I believe that

this

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is the reason why humans are losing the awareness of the value of money. We are uncertain of the amount of pocket money that we should be given to our children.

In addition

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, there are disproportionate differences in wages between different professions, that are not always justified by the amount of responsibility. Only two decades ago, kids would get small allowances so they could treat themselves and buy some sweets.

In contrast

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, now parents feel the obligation

of retributing

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to retribute

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their little ones with vast amounts of cash to recognise their achievements. Something that I think is

also

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worth discussing, is the differences in pay that we can see along the different jobs. There is a general belief that the salaries should be in proportion to the responsibility.

However

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, famous actors and footballers earn ridiculous salaries, and new generations are more attracted to becoming influencers on the internet than studying for a university degree. In conclusion, income is an indispensable component of our society.

Therefore

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, it is important that we educate ourselves and our kids about finances, so we all understand the effort required to get the money that allows us to get what we want and how to make informed decisions when it comes to finances.

Submitted by olatzbaroja on Fri May 03 2024

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task achievement

Try to include more specific examples to support your points, enhancing the persuasiveness of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Introduce a wider range of sentence structures and linking words to improve flow and coherence.

task achievement

For a higher score, ensure your essay discusses deeply the set task, especially focusing on the evolution of attitudes towards money and the rationale behind salary disparities among professions.

coherence cohesion

You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your discussion.

task achievement

You've successfully identified and addressed the key theme of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

230 words

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Modern Society and Income. Discuss modern attitude to money and how they have changed over the year. Pay particular attention to how people of different professions are rewarded financially.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, children start school at the age of four, while in other countries they start at seven. What is the ideal age for a child to begin formal education

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today .

It was observed that in some countries not enough students are choosing to study science subjects at universities . What are the causes ? What effects does this have on society

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.