IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. Do you agree with this statement? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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Whether a person who has committed a crime can truly change has been a subject of debate. Some people believe that criminals abandon their unlawful behaviour, regardless of the punishment they receive.
However
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, I disagree with
this
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 view because many offenders are capable of
rehabilitation
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 when they are given appropriate support,
education
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 , and opportunities to rebuild their
lives
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. One of the strongest arguments against
this
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 statement is that many people commit crimes because of circumstances rather than because they are inherently dishonest or violent. Factors
such
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 as poverty, lack of
education
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, unemployment, anger, or negative peer influence can lead individuals to make offensive decisions. If these underlying problems are addressed through
education
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, vocational training, and counselling, many offenders become responsible and productive members of
society
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.
For example
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, many prisons have
rehabilitation
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 programme in to help prisoners to learn new skills, enabling them to secure stable employment after their punishment and avoid reoffending.
Furthermore
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, treating every criminal as permanently dangerous may discourage them chaging their behaviour. When former prisoners face constant discrimination and are denied employment or social acceptance, they often struggle to reintegrate into
society
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.
This
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 situation can make them return to crime.
On the other hand
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, if
such
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 individuals got
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 second chance to prove themselves, it
will
Wrong verb form
would
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 encourage their personal growth and motivate them. Many ex-offenders have successfully rebuilt their
lives
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. Admittedly, some criminals are violent and repeated offences may continue to pose a threat to
society
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 despite
rehabilitation
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 efforts. In
such
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 scenarios, strict actions, harsh punishments, and life imprisonment are necessary to protect the public. Since
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 these offenders are fewer in number, we should not define all the criminals with the same attitude. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the belief that a person who commits a crime will always remain a criminal.
While
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 some of them may reoffend, many others can transform their
lives
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 through
education
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,
rehabilitation
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, and social support.
Hence
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, every criminal should get a second opportunity to change themselves and transform their
lives
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 and
society
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.

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task response
Make your example more clear and real. You say prisons have programs, but one full example would help more.
task response
Check small grammar and word form errors because they can make your ideas less clear.
task response
Your main answer is clear, but explain one or two ideas a bit more deeply.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully. Some are good, but a few sentences are not smooth.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main point and develop it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence connection inside paragraphs so the flow is easier to follow.
task response
You answer the question clearly and keep the same opinion from start to end.
task response
You include both sides and then explain why you disagree.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are in a logical order and are easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • reintegration
  • recidivism
  • therapy
  • stigmatization
  • reoffending
  • accountability
  • support programs
  • proactive steps
  • personal choice
  • societal barriers
  • reform
  • transformation
  • opportunities
  • environment
  • social support
  • success stories
  • examples
  • criminal behavior
  • stereotype
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