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Band 6.5

Trying to save endangered animal species from extinction is a waste of valuable resources.Do you agree or disagree?

#species #extinction #waste #resources
In today's world, the population of various animal
species
 has witnessed a significant decrease
due to
 the impact of human activities and environmental changes.
Therefore
, the question of whether spending too much on protecting endangered animal
species
 has become a matter of considerable debate. Some argue that conserving endangered animal
species
 to prevent extinction is a misuse of precious resources.
However
, from my perspective, I disagree with
this
 viewpoint. There are several reasons why I don't agree with
this
 notion.
Firstly
, biodiversity is essential for the health and stability of ecosystems.Each
species
 plays a unique role in maintaining the balance of nature, and the loss of one
species
 can have far-reaching consequences.
For example
, the extinction of pollinators like bees could lead to a collapse in food production
due to
 the loss of pollination services.
Furthermore
, preserving endangered
species
 often involves protecting their habitats, which benefits not only those
species
 but
also
 countless others that inhabit the same ecosystem. By conserving natural habitats, we can
also
 safeguard vital ecosystem services
such
 as clean water, air purification, and climate regulation. Even more important, many endangered
species
 have intrinsic value beyond their instrumental worth to humans. They represent millions of years of evolutionary history and are part of our planet's natural heritage. Allowing them to go extinct would be a tragic loss for future generations . In conclusion,
while
 it may require valuable resources to save endangered animal
species
 from extinction, the benefits far outweigh the costs. Preserving biodiversity is crucial for the health of our planet and future generations, and it is our moral responsibility to protect and conserve the incredible diversity of life on Earth.
Submitted by zora840810 on

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic, but it could benefit from a more balanced view by addressing some counterarguments. Discussing opposing viewpoints and then refuting them would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You did very well with structuring the essay and maintaining logical flow. However, improving the use of transitional phrases would elevate the coherence. For instance, using words like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' and 'Nevertheless' can help in connecting ideas more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both strong and provide a clear frame for the essay.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples and explanations, particularly regarding the role of biodiversity and ecosystem services.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • extinction
  • preserve
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • ecological roles
  • conservation efforts
  • scientific discoveries
  • advancements
  • cultural value
  • aesthetic value
  • employment opportunities
  • local economies
  • ethical responsibility
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