Some people think that young people should spend their free time with their families instead of enjoying outside entertainment. However, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Young people spend most of their lives in school or studying.

Therefore

, when they have free

time

, they can either do

activities

with their families or go out and enjoy outside entertainment. My personal opinion is that both options have positive outcomes, and the youth should be able to enjoy both options. On one hand, there are those adults who believe that spending

time

with their families is the best option. Mainly, their arguments are that the family members are the best role models the teenagers could have.

Similarly

, they support the idea that their grown-ups would be able to teach them all the required skills that will need when they grow up. They consider that there are multiple risks

Change preposition

show examples

the streets and that young people could be exposed to dangerous

activities

and substances.

On the other hand

, there are those who support the idea which suggests that young kids should enjoy the outside entertainment. These group of people based their opinions on the latest studies, which suggest that outside

activities

increase specific qualities like self-esteem and confidence, which will help in the development of the individuals. Parents may be sometimes overprotective and they could avoid teenagers facing situations that may help them develop their own personalities. In conclusion, when it comes to adolescents and how they should enjoy their

time

outside school, I think that we should not be one-sided.

Although

spending

time

with their families is really beneficial, enjoying outdoor

activities

helps to develop the social skills necessary to grow up as a confident adult.

Submitted by olatzbaroja on Fri May 03 2024

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Language

Try to include a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary to enhance the complexity and precision of your argument.

Content

Provide more specific examples to support your points, which can make your argument more persuasive and comprehensive.

Task Response

Ensure a balance between discussing both views and your own opinion to fully address the essay prompt.

Structure

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, making your position clear.

Content

You've presented a balanced view effectively discussing the merits of both perspectives before stating your opinion.

Coherence

Good use of paragraphing to separate and emphasize different ideas, improving readability and coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

bond
relationship
communication
experience
learn
opportunity
exposure
culture
perspective
development
interest
skill
socialize
peer
broaden
horizon
opinion

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Some people think that young people should spend their free time with their families instead of enjoying outside entertainment. However, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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