IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: •introduce yourself • explain the situation • say what action you would like to the company to take

#camera #home #company #representative #week #•introduce #situation #action
Dear Sir or Madam I am writing
this
 letter to report the faulty
camera
 in my recent purchase from your
company
. My name is Begoyim .I
have been purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchased
show examples
 the
camera
 from your
company
last
 week
Last
 week on August 1st which was Thursday, I made the purchase of a
camera
 from your
company
.
One
 week later, as I got home and tried to take a
picture
 of my cat . Unfortunately, the quality of the obtained
picture
 was very unsatisfactory. That wasn't the only problem. When I tried to take another
picture
, the
picture
 was taken upside down. That's ridiculous. On Monday night , I immediately
call
Wrong verb form
called
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customer service and explained the issues with the
camera
 . The staff suggested I return the
camera
 back to the
company
. In return, they will either
replaced
Add a missing verb
be replaced
show examples
 with
a new ones
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new one
new ones
show examples
 or fixed within three days.
However
, there has been no contact back since
then
 I would appreciate it provided you could either replace the
camera
 with a new
one
 or repair the existing
one
 within
one
 day. I hope to hear back from you immediately Yours faithfully Begoyim
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to maintain clear paragraphing, sometimes ideas got a bit mixed up.
coherence and cohesion
Start your letter with the details of your purchase right away after introducing yourself, it would be more coherent.
task achievement
Clarify what specific camera model you bought; this would exhibit more details in task response.
suitable writing tone
Polite and formal tone maintained throughout.
complete response
All parts of the task are covered sufficiently.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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