Topic: In many countries around the world rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.
Nowadays, we can easily see that people who live in villages prefer to immigrate to cities, and the lack of population will
be appeared
in Change to the active voice
appear
have appeared
countryside
in future. I strongly think that reduction of agriculture and disability for providing Add an article
the countryside
best
equipment for rural Add an article
the best
are
the most impact of Wrong verb form
areas is
this
idea however
; they need to use modern technology the same as citizen
, too. All my reasons will be discussed in Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
this
essay.
“manufacture of farming production has been decreased to 100,000 per month in Australia”. This
news has been published by on news agency that really warned the government. Whenever they figure
out the reasons Wrong verb form
figured
of
Change preposition
for
this
action, they completely recognized that the more rural moved to Melbourne, the more products they will
lose year by year. In fact, rural caused Wrong verb form
would
that
their economy Correct word choice
apply
exposed
to Verb problem
apply
demolish
.
Wrong verb form
be demolished
It is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
handle
and Wrong verb form
handling
prepare
the best facilities is one the worst Wrong verb form
preparing
function
for each society, so if the villages become empty and Fix the agreement mistake
functions
loses
Change the verb form
lose
its
population, the government cannot share all technology for people in cities. Correct pronoun usage
their
Moreover
, most of the individuals lose their chance to use public transportation as well. For instance
, in Tehran (Iran) more than 80 per cent of clerks suffer from the
Reverse migration.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, people have the same right
, so they need to use any objects with the highest efficiency and productivity. It is a good idea for any Fix the agreement mistake
rights
countries
to make the best possibilities in villages the same as American policy these days.
Fix the agreement mistake
country
To conclude
, I am certainly believe
that Change the verb form
certainly believe
although
reverse migration make
new opportunities for rural to benefit Verb problem
creates
qualified
possibilities, it will Change preposition
from qualified
be made
some situations for any Wrong verb form
cause
regions
to get in trouble for some reasons Fix the agreement mistake
region
such
as decreasing
rate of economy and disability of government to manage the country.Correct article usage
the decreasing
Submitted by abhari1997 on
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structure
Ensure that your essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Try to have a more distinct separation between them.
coherence
Work on the coherence of your argument. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea. Follow this with support that is directly linked to the topic sentence.
sentence variation
Employ a variety of complex sentence structures to convey your ideas more clearly and effectively. While simplicity has its place, variation in sentence construction can greatly enhance the readability and sophistication of your argument.
vocabulary
Aiming to include more precise and varied vocabulary can help to more clearly convey your points and improve the overall quality of your writing.
examples
Try to provide clear and specific examples to support your arguments. Citing a news agency's publication is a good start, but offering direct statistics, studies, or cases can significantly strengthen your position.
stance
You did well in presenting a clear stance on the topic from the introduction, maintaining this stance throughout the essay.
coverage
You've touched upon a variety of relevant aspects, such as economic impacts and equal rights to technology, showcasing a broad understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.