Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #sense #competition #children #adults

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Some people opine that competing with

others

Use synonyms

is a good way to teach children.

However

Linking Words

others

Use synonyms

state that learning how to collaborate with peers is the more important

one

Use synonyms

. In my view, it is hard to say which

one

Use synonyms

is the better, but I will give my opinion on both ways in the following paragraphs. Comparing with

others

Use synonyms

may motivate kids to grow up and improve. Sometimes

this

Linking Words

is essential for educators to force it.

For example

Linking Words

, when I was a grade school student, our home teacher asked us to

joined

Wrong verb form

join

show examples

a competition group in order to achieve higher scores

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

in our classes. The pupil whose credits were lower than their rivals will be published by their teacher. That was a great way for learners to progress.

However

Linking Words

, I do not support

this

Linking Words

strategy, because it is unfair that if your opponents are much better than you, you will not have any chance to win

this

Linking Words

game. Learning to work together is vital in your life because in working, it is inevitable that you have to work with your co-workers on a project. I can not think of

one

Use synonyms

job which does not cooperate with

others

Use synonyms

. Even grave-shift guards need to do things with

others

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, when I was working as a security officer in a hotel,

one

Use synonyms

day, the detective asked me to assist him in an undercover mission. I tried my best to help him in catching the gangsters.

Thus

Linking Words

, if you learn how to manage a team or work with

others

Use synonyms

as a group, that may be useful in

your

Change the word

the

show examples

future. In a nutshell, I can not make a decision about which

one

Use synonyms

is more influential in a child, but I gave my reason and example about them above. A sense of competition can incentivize a person to pursue a goal. Collaborating with

others

Use synonyms

can aid you in your group life. Currently, no job is fighting sole.

Instead

Linking Words

, most occupations rely on

others

Use synonyms

helping

Replace the word

help

show examples

Submitted by edward300225 on Sat May 04 2024

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Writing Mechanics

Be mindful of spelling and grammar to increase clarity and precision in your writing. For example, 'opponents are much better than you, you will not have any chance to win this game' could be revised for clarity and grammatical accuracy.

Argumentation

Strengthen the connection between your examples and the overall argument. Ensure that each example directly supports your point for a more compelling argument.

Conclusion

Consider a more conclusive statement in your conclusion. A clear statement of preference or opinion adds strength to your essay and provides a satisfying closure for the reader.

Introduction

Your introduction aptly sets out the essay's structure and topic. This helps readers follow your argument throughout.

Use of Examples

The use of real-life examples, such as your experience in a hotel and as a grade school student, makes your argument more relatable and persuasive.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Countries are becoming more and more similliar because are able to by the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many students are choosing to study online instead of face - to - face education. what is the advantages and disadvantages.