IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think the government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles in order to solve environment problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals contend that governments should elevate fuel prices for automobiles and other means of
transportation
Use synonyms
 as a strategy to address environmental challenges. I firmly endorse
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint, as the detrimental impact of vehicles on the environment is increasingly evident.
Firstly
Linking Words
, automobiles significantly contribute to climate change and air pollution.
According to
Linking Words
 statistics from both Canada and the United States,
transportation
Use synonyms
 accounts for approximately fifty
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 of global greenhouse gas emissions.
This
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 alarming figure underscores the urgent need for intervention, as the continued prevalence of
such
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 emissions adversely affects human quality of life and
overall
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 public health.
Secondly
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, raising fuel prices could
incentivize
Use the right word
incentivise
show examples
 individuals to pursue alternative, more sustainable modes of
transportation
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, higher energy costs may encourage residents to walk or cycle to work rather than rely on personal vehicles, thereby reducing carbon footprints.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, consumers are likely to gravitate towards eco-friendly vehicles powered by renewable energy sources, culminating in a significant reduction in atmospheric carbon dioxide levels.
Moreover
Linking Words
, an increase in the cost of fossil fuels could spur entrepreneurial initiatives, leading to the establishment of electric vehicle manufacturing enterprises. As demand for sustainable
transportation
Use synonyms
 rises,
this
Linking Words
 shift could create new employment opportunities, contributing to economic growth
while
Linking Words
 simultaneously addressing environmental concerns. In conclusion, I maintain that a government-imposed increase in fuel prices would foster a range of positive outcomes.
For instance
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, lower emissions from fossil fuels would markedly improve air quality and mitigate climate change
effects
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Additionally
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, the proliferation of alternative
transportation
Use synonyms
 methods,
such
Linking Words
 as walking and cycling, would
further
Linking Words
 diminish urban pollution levels, paving the way for a healthier and more sustainable future.

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task achievement
Your ideas are clear and well supported, but you could add more specific examples for each point.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure all your points are strongly linked to your main argument to improve flow.
strength
Your introduction clearly presents your opinion and sets the stage for your argument.
strength
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your main points, reinforcing your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental problems
  • increase the cost of fuel
  • cars and other vehicles
  • solve
  • to what extent
  • agree or disagree
  • discourage
  • lead to
  • reduction
  • carbon emissions
  • encourage
  • public transportation
  • traffic congestion
  • additional revenue
  • eco-friendly
  • technologies
  • infrastructure
  • disproportionately
  • low-income individuals
  • alternative solutions
  • electric vehicles
  • renewable energy
  • considered
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • importance
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