IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
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Nowadays, a large number of
people
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 especially skilled
persons
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,
such
Linking Words
 as doctors and
engineers
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 have two or multiple different jobs in different places around the world, in order to they can do multiple tasks that correlate with their career, because the companies or hospitals might have many offices or branches. Meanwhile, some believe that skilled
persons
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 should
work
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 in their
country
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 where accomplished their studies or training. But, others say that they should be able to
work
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 in any
country
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 that love. In
this
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 essay, I will explore these viewpoints and give my opinion. On one hand, a modest of
individuals
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 suppose that skilful
individuals
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 like physicians and
engineers
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 must be employed in the nation where they passed their courses.
This
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 action causes the energy and motivation of professionals will be reduced to
work
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 and it can increase the number of unemployed
persons
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, because the number of skilled
individuals
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 will shoot up,
subsequently
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, the income and opportunity for jobs will be decreased.
Nonetheless
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, the government going to be comforted and their requirements will be settled by veterans. A good example of
this
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 would be, that whenever the quantity of
practitioners
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 increases, the illnesses will be reduced, whilst the income of
practitioners
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 will be decreased for more.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 argue that skilled
persons
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,
such
Linking Words
 as physicians and
engineers
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 should be free to
work
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 in another
country
Use synonyms
 if they wish.
This
Linking Words
 action makes skillful
individuals
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 satisfied and they will have more and more incentive and eagerness to
work
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.
Although
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,
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apply
show examples
, they might be exhausted
due to
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 commute, they will be given valuable experience and broaden their horizons, because they will deal with different types of
people
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 and cultures. In fact, not only causes the salary of professionals
will be
Verb problem
to
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grown
Wrong verb form
grow
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, but
also
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 causes the quantity of
people
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 who want to be
practitioners
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 will be shot up.
While
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, the payment of the therapy cage of
engineers
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 will be increased
accordingly
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. All in all, as can be seen from the points in
this
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 essay, you need to weigh up both points of view. But, in my opinion, the government should allow the
practitioners
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 to
work
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 abroad and in their own
country
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. In spite of the fact that the payment for examination will be gone up,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
country
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 will be modernised
due to
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 the high level of motivation of skilled
individuals
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.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on clarifying your arguments and ensuring each paragraph has a distinct point that is fully developed.
Task Achievement
Introduce more specific examples to support your arguments. This strengthens your essay and makes your points more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revise the essay structure to ensure a clear distinction between introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will enhance the overall clarity and impact of your argument.
Task Achievement
You've presented a balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion, which is excellent for task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical sequence of ideas, aiding the reader's understanding.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
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