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Band 6

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
Nowadays, a large number of
people
 especially skilled
persons
,
such
 as doctors and
engineers
 have two or multiple different jobs in different places around the world, in order to they can do multiple tasks that correlate with their career, because the companies or hospitals might have many offices or branches. Meanwhile, some believe that skilled
persons
 should
work
 in their
country
 where accomplished their studies or training. But, others say that they should be able to
work
 in any
country
 that love. In
this
 essay, I will explore these viewpoints and give my opinion. On one hand, a modest of
individuals
 suppose that skilful
individuals
 like physicians and
engineers
 must be employed in the nation where they passed their courses.
This
 action causes the energy and motivation of professionals will be reduced to
work
 and it can increase the number of unemployed
persons
, because the number of skilled
individuals
 will shoot up,
subsequently
, the income and opportunity for jobs will be decreased.
Nonetheless
, the government going to be comforted and their requirements will be settled by veterans. A good example of
this
 would be, that whenever the quantity of
practitioners
 increases, the illnesses will be reduced, whilst the income of
practitioners
 will be decreased for more.
On the other hand
, some
people
 argue that skilled
persons
,
such
 as physicians and
engineers
 should be free to
work
 in another
country
 if they wish.
This
 action makes skillful
individuals
 satisfied and they will have more and more incentive and eagerness to
work
.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
, they might be exhausted
due to
 commute, they will be given valuable experience and broaden their horizons, because they will deal with different types of
people
 and cultures. In fact, not only causes the salary of professionals
will be
Verb problem
to
show examples
grown
Wrong verb form
grow
show examples
, but
also
 causes the quantity of
people
 who want to be
practitioners
 will be shot up.
While
, the payment of the therapy cage of
engineers
 will be increased
accordingly
. All in all, as can be seen from the points in
this
 essay, you need to weigh up both points of view. But, in my opinion, the government should allow the
practitioners
 to
work
 abroad and in their own
country
. In spite of the fact that the payment for examination will be gone up,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
country
 will be modernised
due to
 the high level of motivation of skilled
individuals
.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on clarifying your arguments and ensuring each paragraph has a distinct point that is fully developed.
Task Achievement
Introduce more specific examples to support your arguments. This strengthens your essay and makes your points more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revise the essay structure to ensure a clear distinction between introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will enhance the overall clarity and impact of your argument.
Task Achievement
You've presented a balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument before stating your own opinion, which is excellent for task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical sequence of ideas, aiding the reader's understanding.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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