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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is often argued that tolerating negative circumstances,
such
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 as an unsatisfactory job or financial difficulties, is the most pragmatic approach.
Conversely
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, I contend that it is more advantageous to make concerted efforts to improve
such
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 challenging situations. On
one
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 hand, there are several compelling reasons why some
individuals
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 believe that accepting adversities, like an unsatisfactory job or financial constraints, is the optimal strategy.
Firstly
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, many may overlook job opportunities that are both financially rewarding and conveniently located.
This
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 oversight can lead to long commutes or relocation, which may only exacerbate their dissatisfaction in the short term.
Secondly
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,
while
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 enduring unpleasant work conditions may seem counterproductive,
such
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 situations can potentially enhance
individuals
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' creativity and resourcefulness.
For instance
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, facing constraints may encourage employees to innovate and develop new skills, ultimately benefiting their long-term career trajectories.
On the other hand
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, there exists a strong case for actively striving to improve
one
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's circumstances rather than passively accepting them.
One
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 key argument in favour of
this
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 view is that by demonstrating resilience and a proactive attitude,
individuals
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 may foster trust and rapport with their colleagues and superiors, leading to tangible benefits
such
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 as raises or promotions.
For example
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, a diligent employee who consistently goes above and beyond may attract recognition from management, resulting in increased responsibilities and financial rewards.
Furthermore
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, failing to take action to enhance
one
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's quality of life can lead to feelings of fatigue and disillusionment. In extreme cases,
this
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 could drive
individuals
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 towards illegal activities as a means of escaping their plight, highlighting the importance of seeking legitimate avenues for improvement. In conclusion, both viewpoints regarding the acceptance of adverse situations and the pursuit of improvement have their merits.
However
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, I firmly believe that making sustained efforts to overcome challenges is the more beneficial path. It is essential for both
individuals
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 and governments to consider the implications of each approach and to encourage proactive strategies for enhancing life circumstances

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task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument clearly and articulated your opinion effectively. To enhance your response, consider elaborating a bit more on the examples, which can provide greater depth and make your argument even more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with distinct paragraphs addressing each viewpoint. However, you might want to use more linking phrases to improve the flow between points. For instance, transitions like 'on the contrary' or 'in addition' could further enhance coherence.
content
The essay presents a balanced view of the subject, discussing both acceptance and the drive to improve, which shows critical thinking.
language
The language used is sophisticated and varied, which enhances the overall quality of the essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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