some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

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In
this
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day and age , some people argue that it is children should participate in group activities .
however
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,
other
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others
show examples
believe they should spend time alone , in my opinion . Both
things
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have benefits . I will clarify my opinion in the following essay .
On the other
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hand
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hand,
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i
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I
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think that to
talks
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talk
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about
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work
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work,
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the benefits of group activities bring fore benefits
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, for example,
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for example
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increase
work
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productivity the whole group supports
eat
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each
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other
promote
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promotes
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thinking and creativity that
besides
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also
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connects relationships
further
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, and
work
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more flexible and
help
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helps
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improve communicative working in groups provider many opportunities learn and develop more Another side is that i
things
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to talk about
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work
Wrong verb form
working
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alone there will be many
benefit
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benefits
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,
for example
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, Will help you be more independent
focused
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and focused
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and
effect
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affect
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in your
work
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because when
work
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alone , you will be
automatic
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automatically
show examples
at
work
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self-awareness and self -
motivation
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-motivated
that
besides
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working alone will help resident be responsible for your
work
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and practice more independence at
work
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. Working alone will help everyone
proactive
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be proactive
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in their
work
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and higher efficiency In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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It’s hard to say which one is better than the other .
However
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, in my personal to talk about working in groups or working
alone
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alone,
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both
things
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have slightly different
benefit
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benefits
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, but for me , I prefer working in groups because it
help
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helps
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me know my weaknesses
missing
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and missing
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points and helps increase communication
skill
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skills
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and learn new
things
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and
increase
Verb problem
improve
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relationships .
Also
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to talk about working alone
it
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apply
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will help
resident
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residents
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be independent and responsible for
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
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work
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, and will help
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
avoid disputes at
work
Use synonyms
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance your essay's coherence, ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea that is thoroughly developed. Transition phrases can help connect ideas more smoothly.
Language
Use a variety of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. This will also demonstrate your linguistic capabilities more effectively.
General
It's beneficial to proofread your essay to correct small inaccuracies and improve overall clarity. Paying attention to details can significantly enhance the quality of your writing.
Task Achievement
For a higher task achievement score, ensure that your examples are directly relevant and clearly illustrate your main points. This makes your argument more persuasive and comprehensible.
Task Achievement
You've understood the task well and provided a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before stating your own preference.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion, is effective and follows the recommended format.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • occupied
  • organized
  • group activities
  • benefits
  • social
  • teamwork skills
  • interpersonal skills
  • friendship
  • discipline
  • time management
  • interests
  • hobbies
  • independent play
  • creativity
  • problem-solving skills
  • self-reliance
  • explore
  • discover
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