some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
In
this
day and age , some people argue that it is children should participate in group activities .however
,other
believe they should spend time alone , in my opinion . Both Fix the agreement mistake
others
things
have benefits . I will clarify my opinion in the following essay .
On the other
hand
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hand,
i
think that to Change the capitalization
I
talks
about Wrong verb form
talk
work
the benefits of group activities bring fore benefitsAdd a comma
work,
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
for example
increase work
productivity the whole group supports eat
other Correct your spelling
each
promote
thinking and creativity that Correct subject-verb agreement
promotes
besides
also
connects relationships further
, and work
more flexible and help
improve communicative working in groups provider many opportunities learn and develop more
Another side is that i Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
things
to talk about work
alone there will be many Wrong verb form
working
benefit
, Change to a plural noun
benefits
for example
, Will help you be more independent focused
and Correct word choice
and focused
effect
in your Correct your spelling
affect
work
because when work
alone , you will be automatic
at Change the word
automatically
work
self-awareness and self -motivation
that Correct your spelling
-motivated
besides
working alone will help resident be responsible for your work
and practice more independence at work
. Working alone will help everyone proactive
in their Add a missing verb
be proactive
work
and higher efficiency
In conclusion
It’s hard to say which one is better than the other . Add a comma
conclusion,
However
, in my personal to talk about working in groups or working alone
both Add a comma
alone,
things
have slightly different benefit
, but for me , I prefer working in groups because it Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
help
me know my weaknesses Change the verb form
helps
missing
points and helps increase communication Correct word choice
and missing
skill
and learn new Fix the agreement mistake
skills
things
and increase
relationships . Verb problem
improve
Also
to talk about working alone it
will help Correct pronoun usage
apply
resident
be independent and responsible for Fix the agreement mistake
residents
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
work
, and will help you
avoid disputes at Correct pronoun usage
them
work
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance your essay's coherence, ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea that is thoroughly developed. Transition phrases can help connect ideas more smoothly.
Language
Use a variety of sentence structures to make your writing more engaging. This will also demonstrate your linguistic capabilities more effectively.
General
It's beneficial to proofread your essay to correct small inaccuracies and improve overall clarity. Paying attention to details can significantly enhance the quality of your writing.
Task Achievement
For a higher task achievement score, ensure that your examples are directly relevant and clearly illustrate your main points. This makes your argument more persuasive and comprehensible.
Task Achievement
You've understood the task well and provided a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before stating your own preference.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion, is effective and follows the recommended format.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.