Some people say that the est way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facillities. others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic → Introduction
As far as I`m concerned a group of people
are Unnecessary verb
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agree with
increasingVerb problem
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health
withChange preposition
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doing some activities and the other one are positive with isn`t really work I`m going to explain about both of
thisCorrect determiner usage
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ideas
, I have to say that I think doing some sports is more helpful.
Body paragraph 1
Doing activities for healthcare is a good way to improve self-health
have done
a Correct article usage
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few Correct quantifier usage
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on
personsReplace the word
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who have been doing a lot of exercise for 6 months and found that really healthier than before .
group was happier than the time they didn't do any sports.
Body paragraph 2
Doing something else things like seeing a Dr or taking a tablet for every illness
isn`tVerb problem
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really work and
makeCorrect subject-verb agreement
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bodyAdd an article
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very sensitive. A master of physiology did
a Correct article usage
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research on some sick
personFix the agreement mistake
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and he
findWrong verb form
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that their
peinCorrect your spelling
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was good just for the time when they were on a tablet effect .
Conclusion
research told us doing
Add an article
show examples
activityFix the agreement mistake
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are more effective and their effect is for a long time but the other ways aren't really helpful.
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Try to structure your essay with clearer paragraphs, each devoted to a distinct idea or argument. A clear introductory statement, paragraphs for each argument (with examples), and a conclusion would enhance clarity and organization.
Focus on clarity in your examples. While your mention of research and findings is good, more specific details or statistics could strengthen your argument.
Consider revisiting your grammar and spelling to enhance the overall readability of your essay. Paying attention to these details can significantly impact the reader’s understanding of your points.
For a balanced argument, consider exploring both views more deeply before stating your opinion. This approach ensures a comprehensive understanding of the topic for the reader.
You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument in your essay, which is a key requirement for the task.
Your essay reflects an effort to use examples to support your arguments, an essential aspect of a good essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.