Some people say that the est way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facillities. others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

#people #health #sports #facillities #effect #measures

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As far as I`m concerned a group of people

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

agree with

increasing

Verb problem

improving

show examples

health

with

Change preposition

show examples

doing some activities and the other one are positive with isn`t really work I`m going to explain about both of

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

ideas

however

Linking Words

, I have to say that I think doing some sports is more helpful. Doing activities for healthcare is a good way to improve self-health

.some reasercher

Correct your spelling

Some researchers

have done

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

few

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

reaserch

Correct your spelling

research

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

who have been doing a lot of exercise for 6 months and found that really healthier than before .

This

Linking Words

group was happier than the time they didn't do any sports. Doing something else things like seeing a Dr or taking a tablet for every illness

isn`t

Verb problem

doesn`t

show examples

really work and

make

Correct subject-verb agreement

makes

show examples

body

Add an article

the body

show examples

very sensitive. A master of physiology did

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research on some sick

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

and he

find

Wrong verb form

found

show examples

that their

pein

Correct your spelling

pain

show examples

was good just for the time when they were on a tablet effect .

This

Linking Words

research told us doing

Add an article

the activity

show examples

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

are more effective and their effect is for a long time but the other ways aren't really helpful.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sat May 04 2024

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structure

Try to structure your essay with clearer paragraphs, each devoted to a distinct idea or argument. A clear introductory statement, paragraphs for each argument (with examples), and a conclusion would enhance clarity and organization.

examples

Focus on clarity in your examples. While your mention of research and findings is good, more specific details or statistics could strengthen your argument.

grammar spelling

Consider revisiting your grammar and spelling to enhance the overall readability of your essay. Paying attention to these details can significantly impact the reader’s understanding of your points.

argument depth

For a balanced argument, consider exploring both views more deeply before stating your opinion. This approach ensures a comprehensive understanding of the topic for the reader.

task response

You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument in your essay, which is a key requirement for the task.

use of examples

Your essay reflects an effort to use examples to support your arguments, an essential aspect of a good essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

180 words

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Some people say that the est way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facillities. others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others believe that zoos are beneficial for the conservation of endangered species. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Vehicle technology is advancing rapidly and cars that drive themselves have already been developed. In the near future, most people will use driverless cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many students are choosing not to study science in universities.what are the causes for that.what are the effects of that

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.