Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #crimes #circumstances #poverty #nature

Wrongdoers commit a variety of

crimes

and some continue committing

crimes

. Some

people

argue that these

crimes

stem from their bad intuition and beliefs,

while

others think that the environment affects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

offenders, which will be discussed in

this

essay. On the one hand, some individuals have more potential to commit

crimes

, who can commit

high- class

Correct your spelling

high-class

show examples

felonies. To be more specific, some

people

carry specific genes that can be considered as the source of criminal actions.

Therefore

people

’s nature can impact their

apply

Wrong verb form

applied

show examples

attitudes.

For example

according to

research in many

crimes

, criminals are observed among the family members or relatives of the perpetrators.

On the other hand

, not all intuitive things can impact individuals’

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

determined after a certain time. The environment can play a

significantly

Change the adverb

significant

show examples

role

human

Change preposition

in human

show examples

life.

In other words

, some issues

undergo

Verb problem

accompany

show examples

committing

crimes

such

as lack of education and proper upbringing. Studying education is a hindrance

against

Change preposition

show examples

committing

crimes

in the future. In some families, teenagers deprive can parents of

upbringing

Correct pronoun usage

their upbringing

show examples

Thus

people

are prone to more

crimes

. In conclusion, some

people

believe that they are bad in nature which can be related to genes who doer

crimes

However

, others argue that the environment affects pivotal human actions,

such

as lack of education and proper upbringing.

Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on Sat May 04 2024

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task achievement

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coherence cohesion

Focus on organizing your essay in a more logical manner. A clear introduction, detailed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion will strengthen your argument's flow.

language

Pay attention to minor inaccuracies in grammar and vocabulary. Although they do not heavily impact your score, improving them will refine the overall quality of your essay.

task achievement

You successfully discussed both views as requested in the task, showing a good understanding of the essay question.

coherence cohesion

You provided a conclusion that summarizes your discussion and presents your opinion, which is essential for a well-rounded essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

213 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paid job and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. What extent do you agree?

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras).In many cases,the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Topic 10. In some countries older people are being encouraged to work longer and not to retire. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age.

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?