Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Wrongdoers commit a variety of
crimes
and some continue committing
crimes
. Some
people
argue that these
crimes
stem from their bad intuition and beliefs,
while
others think that the environment affects
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
offenders, which will be discussed in
this
essay. On the one hand, some individuals have more potential to commit
crimes
, who can commit
high- class
Correct your spelling
high-class
show examples
felonies. To be more specific, some
people
carry specific genes that can be considered as the source of criminal actions.
Therefore
,
people
’s nature can impact their
apply
Wrong verb form
applied
show examples
attitudes.
For example
,
according to
research in many
crimes
, criminals are observed among the family members or relatives of the perpetrators.
On the other hand
, not all intuitive things can impact individuals’
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
if
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
determined after a certain time. The environment can play a
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
show examples
role
human
Change preposition
in human
show examples
life.
In other words
, some issues
undergo
Verb problem
accompany
show examples
committing
crimes
,
such
as lack of education and proper upbringing. Studying education is a hindrance
against
Change preposition
to
show examples
committing
crimes
in the future. In some families, teenagers deprive can parents of
upbringing
Correct pronoun usage
their upbringing
show examples
.
Thus
,
people
are prone to more
crimes
. In conclusion, some
people
believe that they are bad in nature which can be related to genes who doer
crimes
.
However
, others argue that the environment affects pivotal human actions,
such
as lack of education and proper upbringing.
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your essay in a more logical manner. A clear introduction, detailed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion will strengthen your argument's flow.
language
Pay attention to minor inaccuracies in grammar and vocabulary. Although they do not heavily impact your score, improving them will refine the overall quality of your essay.
task achievement
You successfully discussed both views as requested in the task, showing a good understanding of the essay question.
coherence cohesion
You provided a conclusion that summarizes your discussion and presents your opinion, which is essential for a well-rounded essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socio-economic circumstances
  • poverty
  • lack of education
  • unemployment
  • illegal activities
  • desperation
  • social issues
  • exposure to violence
  • family structures
  • inherent
  • personality traits
  • lack of empathy
  • aggression
  • predilection for risk-taking
  • affluent backgrounds
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