Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Wrongdoers commit a variety of
crimes
Use synonyms
and some continue committing
crimes
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
argue that these
crimes
Use synonyms
stem from their bad intuition and beliefs,
while
Linking Words
others think that the environment affects
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
offenders, which will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
essay. On the one hand, some individuals have more potential to commit
crimes
Use synonyms
, who can commit
high- class
Correct your spelling
high-class
show examples
felonies. To be more specific, some
people
Use synonyms
carry specific genes that can be considered as the source of criminal actions.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
’s nature can impact their
apply
Wrong verb form
applied
show examples
attitudes.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
research in many
crimes
Use synonyms
, criminals are observed among the family members or relatives of the perpetrators.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, not all intuitive things can impact individuals’
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
if
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
determined after a certain time. The environment can play a
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
show examples
role
human
Change preposition
in human
show examples
life.
In other words
Linking Words
, some issues
undergo
Verb problem
accompany
show examples
committing
crimes
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as lack of education and proper upbringing. Studying education is a hindrance
against
Change preposition
to
show examples
committing
crimes
Use synonyms
in the future. In some families, teenagers deprive can parents of
upbringing
Correct pronoun usage
their upbringing
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
are prone to more
crimes
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, some
people
Use synonyms
believe that they are bad in nature which can be related to genes who doer
crimes
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, others argue that the environment affects pivotal human actions,
such
Linking Words
as lack of education and proper upbringing.
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Work on developing your ideas more thoroughly with clearer, more specific examples. This will enhance your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your essay in a more logical manner. A clear introduction, detailed body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion will strengthen your argument's flow.
language
Pay attention to minor inaccuracies in grammar and vocabulary. Although they do not heavily impact your score, improving them will refine the overall quality of your essay.
task achievement
You successfully discussed both views as requested in the task, showing a good understanding of the essay question.
coherence cohesion
You provided a conclusion that summarizes your discussion and presents your opinion, which is essential for a well-rounded essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • socio-economic circumstances
  • poverty
  • lack of education
  • unemployment
  • illegal activities
  • desperation
  • social issues
  • exposure to violence
  • family structures
  • inherent
  • personality traits
  • lack of empathy
  • aggression
  • predilection for risk-taking
  • affluent backgrounds
What to do next:
Look at other essays: