The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six month period in 2011

The graph below shows the number of inquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six month period in 2011
The line chart provides key information about the number of
questions
received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a half year from
Jan
to
Jun
duration in 2011 by three methods, in person, by letter/email or by telephone. The units are measured in a number of
questions
.
Overall
, it is clear from the graph that in
Jun
, letter/email had the lowest figure of users compared to other methods.
In addition
,
in-person
Add an article
the in-person
an in-person
show examples
method
had the lowest statistic that the office received in
Jan
,
whereas
it was the highest
method
which has
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
used in
Jun
.
According to
what is shown,
in-person
Correct article usage
the in-person
show examples
method
faced a significant increase from
Jan
to
Jun
. It began with a little above 400 and it reached almost 1900. By letter/ email
method
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the only
method
which faced a
drop
in numbers. It started with almost 800
questions
and faced a tiny
drop
to Mar,
then
there was
anotable
Correct your spelling
a notable
drop
from Mar to
Jun
, and it reached under 400. In terms of
telephone
Correct article usage
the telephone
show examples
method
, it started with approximately 800 and it faced
a
Change the article
an
show examples
unremarkable
drop
from
Jan
to Feb.
then
it faced a significant increase from Feb to
Jun
.
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
it reached 1600 inquiries
questions
by
Jun
.
Submitted by Aljawir3 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words questions, jan, jun, method, drop with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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