Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing

problems

. I

agreed

Wrong verb form

agree

show examples

with

this

statement and here are examples that will support the

Correct your spelling

statement

stamens

stament

Correct your spelling

statement

Firstly

reducing environmental

problems

should be prioritized as it could

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

health

Add an article

the health

show examples

of citizens because we have to

breath

Replace the word

breathe

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in air

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

, drink clear water , and food that we eat daily

for example

if the air

are

Change the verb form

show examples

polluted can affect the

lung

Fix the agreement mistake

lungs

show examples

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

, and can cause cancer in the long term

Secondly

Add a comma

Secondly,

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housing

problems

, if

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

can't afford the

accomudation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

can become homeless. it could lead to so many

problems

such

as poor

Correct your spelling

hygiene

hygeine

Correct your spelling

hygiene

, lack of nutrition and safety

for instance

how can someone cook

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good food if they don't have a house that

provide

Change the verb form

provides

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heat, shelter and

place

Correct article usage

a place

show examples

to take a bath In

conclusion

Add a comma

conclusion,

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reducing

enviroemental

Correct your spelling

environmental

pollution and housing

problems

could play a huge role

to prevent

Change preposition

in preventing

show examples

illness and disease for peoples that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

have to take care

Submitted by atiwat.simprasertth on Sat May 04 2024

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Enhance coherence

To improve coherence, try to ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the one before. Using connective words (however, furthermore, for instance) can help guide the reader through your argument.

Deepen content

For a higher score in task achievement, expand your ideas with more detailed examples. Sharing specific studies, facts, or personal anecdotes can make your argument stronger and more compelling.

Structure improvement

Work on developing a more structured introduction and conclusion. Clearly state your opinion in the introduction, summarize your main points in the conclusion, and avoid introducing new ideas at the end.

Clear stance

Successfully states agreement with the given statement, guiding the essay's direction.

Relevant examples

Includes examples that support the main argument, illustrating the importance of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

167 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

some people think that the most important thing about being rich is that it gives a person the opportunity to help other people do you agree or disagree To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some people believe that pop stars deserve to earn more money than classical music performers. Some disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more people are using mobile phones and the internet to communicate. Therefore, people are losing their ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?