Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

These days, numerous people opt to work on their own as opposed to being
employees
in a company or organization. In my opinion, a wide variety of strict rules and the limitation of income within an organization or a company discourage people from being an employee. I am
also
convinced that going bankrupt and paying
taxes
can be the drawbacks of freelancing. It is my view that a fixed salary may cause serious problems for
employees
. They are restricted by a certain amount of money which is paid on a regular basis. Many
employees
find it difficult to make ends meet and cover their expenses.
For example
, in Iran, the price of housing, food and clothes are escalating alarmingly day to day.
Consequently
, if you are an employee who earns a fixed salary, you will be never able to manage your expenses.
Furthermore
,
employees
have to conform to special rules that are enforced by their organizations or companies.
For instance
, certain working hours and dress codes are of paramount importance in
such
offices. I
further
believe that freelancing has its own difficulties.
First,
in some countries, economic recession may lead to the bankruptcy of businesses. They fail to make sufficient profits, and in turn, should change their work.
Therefore
, freelancers would face job insecurity and financial issues.
Additionally
, since you have your own business, you are compelled to pay
taxes
to the government. In some cases, self-employed people should pay around 50% of their revenue for
taxes
. In conclusion, strict rules in workplaces and receiving a fixed salary are the reasons for choosing self-employed jobs. From my perspective, heavy
taxes
and going bankrupt are two downsides of freelancing.
Submitted by maryam.nutrition1988 on

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Task Achievement
Consider increasing the depth and variety of examples to provide stronger supports to your claims. Real-world scenarios or statistics can greatly enhance your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, you might use a wider range of linking words and phrases that could make the progression of ideas even smoother.
Task Achievement
Another way to enhance your essay is by contrasting viewpoints more robustly. Discussing opposing perspectives before offering your take can enrich your analysis and make for a more persuasive argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Monitor sentence variety to maintain reader engagement. A mix of complex and simple sentences can improve readability and demonstrate your linguistic range.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've provided a clear structure that effectively organizes your essay into understandable sections. This makes your argument easy to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, effectively setting up and summarizing your main points. This contributes to a strong sense of cohesiveness throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
You've effectively responded to all parts of the task, offering clear explanations for why some choose self-employment and discussing potential downsides.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
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