IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar charts below show precipitation in hot desert climate grasslands in 1980 and 2000.

The bar charts below show precipitation in hot desert climate grasslands in 1980 and 2000.
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The given charts compare the amount of monthly
precipitation
Use synonyms
 in hot desert climate grasslands in two different years, 1980 and 2000. The measurements used in the charts are in millimetres.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
precipitation
Use synonyms
 fluctuated over the years for both periods given. Meanwhile, there was a huge decline in the average
precipitation
Use synonyms
 in 2000 compared to it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in 1980. In general, the
precipitation
Use synonyms
 level was above 150mm in the first period. In the first two months, the
precipitation
Use synonyms
 level decreased.
However
Linking Words
, it peaked in March and began to decline in the
next
Correct word choice
apply
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subsequent months.
Then
Linking Words
, it reached the minimum turning point at just above 150
mm
Use synonyms
 in July before it started to increase gradually from August to December. Meanwhile, the highest
precipitation
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 in 2000 was only at 53
mm
Use synonyms
 which was approximately a third of the lowest in the previous period. It started at only 51
mm
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 in the first month and fell dramatically in the second month. Even though it reached the lowest level in March and April consecutively, it rose sharply in the following months and peaked in July and August at 53
mm
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, it decreased gradually for the rest of the year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words precipitation, mm with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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