Some people think that students should learn a range of practical skills at school (such as car maintenance or managing money) alongside traditional subjects like maths and physics. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

Many skills are required currently, so schools should teach students how to deal with these important qualities. In
this
report, I will go through the merits and demerits of
this
statement, and
then
allow me to share my point of view. Learning additional skills is helpful, useful, strategic, profitable, necessary, and beneficial;
as a consequence
, many learners want to learn them in school. Learning them is important to get a suitable profession. To explain that, studies show that many companies, facilities, and foundations are demanding candidates to have certain qualities
such
as programming, problem-solving, and communication;
as a result
, it is suggested to teach them in school.
Besides
that, they will help learners to work alone as self-employed.
For example
, many people acknowledged that they are able to work in various fields because they have crafts.
Also
, articles say that
this
is an ideal substitute for poor people who are not capable of paying money to study at a university, so they can find jobs right after finishing high school.
Although
the points mentioned above are strong, there are reverse points which hold equal strength.
Firstly
, they are unnecessary. For
further
explanation, there are many successful workers, scientists, and businessmen who did not study
such
skills previously.
Therefore
, many experts say that they are not as important as the other subjects, so teenagers should learn them in exterior courses.
Secondly
, these courses will waste the students' time. Some studies show that the majority of learners are not willing to consume their time in these classes.
Additionally
, many teenagers post on social media that these classes are useless, time-consuming, and difficult because practical crafts require high-quality pieces of equipment that are extremely expensive, so many institutes will not be able to teach their students accurately. In conclusion, even though learning a variety of qualities is important, interesting, and beneficial, teaching them is difficult, money-consuming, and boring.
However
, I completely disagree with the statement.
Submitted by haneenalnetaif on

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Task Achievement
Try to provide more concrete and varied examples to strengthen your argument. This can help in making your essay more persuasive and impactful.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, work on linking your ideas more smoothly. Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to create a more seamless flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Check for consistency in expressing your viewpoint. Make sure the conclusion aligns clearly with the arguments presented in the essay. The statement "I completely disagree with the statement" in the conclusion seems contradictory to the supportive details provided.
Task Achievement
You effectively outlined both sides of the argument, providing a balanced perspective.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly present, contributing to the overall structure of the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay is logically structured, with distinct paragraphs for each main point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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