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Band 4

Many people think that students should be allowed to choose the subject that they study in school, whereas others feel that they should choose the curriculum. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #students #study #school #curriculum
In many educational systems, there is a debate over whether
students
 should have the freedom to choose their subjects or if they should follow a fixed
curriculum
.
However
,
while
both
 perspectives have their merits, I support a balanced
approach
 that incorporates elements of
both
 views.
To begin
 with, those who advocate for allowing
students
 to freely choose
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 subjects of interest argue that it can lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
greater motivation and
engagment
Correct your spelling
engagement
. When
students
 are allowed to study topics that interest them, they are more likely to
preform
Correct your spelling
perform
show examples
 better academically.
This
approach
also
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 the
students
 to discover their passions and career paths.
On the other hand
, proponents of
standerdized
Correct your spelling
standardised
curriculum
 believe that
this
appoaoch
Correct your spelling
approach
 ensures high-quality
education
 and
all
Correct word choice
that all
show examples
students
 receive
common
Correct article usage
a common
show examples
 body of knowledge. A fixed
curriculum
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 to
enstablish
Correct your spelling
establish
 a baseline of skills and knowledge that all
students
 should possess, regardless of
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 interests.
This
approach
guarantee
Change the verb form
guarantees
show examples
 well-rounded
education
 and that
students
 are prepared for
further
education
 or the workforce. In conclusion, I believe that
both
prespectives
Correct your spelling
perspectives
 have their own merits, where allowing
students
 to choose their subject leads to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
greater motivation and
Correct article usage
a standerdized
show examples
standerdized
Correct your spelling
standardised
curriculum
guarantee
Correct subject-verb agreement
guarantees
show examples
well-rounded
Correct article usage
a well-rounded
show examples
education
.
Though
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, I support the Idea of a balanced
approach
 that incorporates elements of
both
 views.
Submitted by marammajid1999 on

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examples
While you've made an effort to include specific examples, try to incorporate more varied and detailed examples to further strengthen your argument.
accuracy
Be mindful of minor spelling mistakes and ensure consistency in terminology to maintain clarity throughout your essay.
introduction & conclusion
You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, providing a clear overview and concluding statement that reflects your opinion.
structure
Your essay shows a good logical flow and clear organization, making your arguments easy to follow.
task response
You have successfully addressed the question, providing a balanced view and clearly stating your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Engagement
  • Motivation
  • Specialized skill set
  • Maturity
  • Foresight
  • Well-rounded education
  • Disciplines
  • Fixed curriculum
  • Creativity
  • Personal growth
  • Core curriculum
  • Elective subjects
  • Foundational knowledge
  • Curriculum design
  • Autonomy
  • Hybrid approach
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