Your child is going on a trip to another country for 3 days. School is looking for some parents who can join the trip and you decided to apply for the same. You are interested in going with trip. Write a letter to the head of the school and include: – Why you want to join the team – What you can do to assist – Queries related to the trip.

#child #trip #country #school #parents #head #team #queries

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Dear Sir, Greetings, I hope

this

Linking Words

letter finds you in good health, I am writing to you concerning the

students

Change noun form

student's

students'

show examples

trip

Use synonyms

Egypt

Use synonyms

, I've heard that you are looking for some parents who can join the

trip

Use synonyms

, and I want to express my interest

to apply

Change preposition

in applying

show examples

Firstly

Linking Words

, I would like you to know that I have worked in

Egypt

Use synonyms

as an English teacher for three years

therefore

Linking Words

I know everything about the vibes there,

Egyptian

Correct article usage

the Egyptian

show examples

people, and the interesting places. If I get the opportunity to join your

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

team, I would be a tour guide, and that would mean a lot.

Additionally

Linking Words

, I still have many friends in

Egypt

Use synonyms

who can assist us there,

moreover

Linking Words

, they can take us

Change preposition

show examples

a journey to explore the ancient secrets of

Egypt

Use synonyms

civilization,

hence

Linking Words

our students will feel more

excitement

Replace the word

excited

show examples

Finally

Linking Words

, I would like to ask about the date and time of the journey,

furthermore

Linking Words

, how many students will go on

this

Linking Words

trip

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

I can prepare well,

in addition

Linking Words

, could we extend the days of the

trip

Use synonyms

if we

needed

Wrong verb form

need

show examples

to stay more? I am looking forward

for

Change preposition

show examples

you

Correct pronoun usage

your

show examples

kind reply. Yours faithfully, Adam White

Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on Sun May 05 2024

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Style

Consider varying your sentence structure more for added sophistication. This can make the text more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Content

For a more compelling application, it would be beneficial to include specific examples or experiences that showcase your ability to contribute meaningfully to the trip. Try to elaborate on how your background or skills can add value.

Clarity

To further improve clarity and impact, consider sharpening your queries by directly addressing specific concerns or needs you may have regarding the trip. This could involve asking about safety measures, dietary accommodations, or any special equipment needed for the students.

Content

You've done an excellent job of expressing your qualifications and enthusiasm for joining the school trip. Your background as an English teacher in Egypt provides a strong rationale for your application.

Structure

The structure of your letter, with clear sections for introduction, body, and conclusion, aids in its overall cohesiveness and readability. This logical flow makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments and understand your points.

Tone

Your polite tone and formal closing are well-suited to the context of a letter to a school official. This demonstrates respect and professionalism.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

194 words

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many cities there is a lack of space to develop and as a result, in order to modernize, old buildings are demolished and replaces with new buildings. What are the disadvantages of knocking down old building? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The crime nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advance in technology which can help prevent and solve crime.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

According to observations, some animal species have become extinct or endangered in recent decades. What are reasons behind this tendency? What effects it may have on ecosystem in general?

QUESTIONS: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.