Your child is going on a trip to another country for 3 days. School is looking for some parents who can join the trip and you decided to apply for the same. You are interested in going with trip. Write a letter to the head of the school and include: – Why you want to join the team – What you can do to assist – Queries related to the trip.
Dear Sir,
Greetings,
I hope
this
letter finds you in good health, I am writing to you concerning the students
Change noun form
student's
students'
trip
to Egypt
, I've heard that you are looking for some parents who can join the trip
, and I want to express my interest to apply
.
Change preposition
in applying
Firstly
, I would like you to know that I have worked in Egypt
as an English teacher for three years therefore
I know everything about the vibes there, Egyptian
people, and the interesting places. If I get the opportunity to join your Correct article usage
the Egyptian
the
team, I would be a tour guide, and that would mean a lot.
Correct article usage
apply
Additionally
, I still have many friends in Egypt
who can assist us there, moreover
, they can take us in
a journey to explore the ancient secrets of Change preposition
on
Egypt
civilization, hence
our students will feel more excitement
.
Replace the word
excited
Finally
, I would like to ask about the date and time of the journey, furthermore
, how many students will go on this
trip
? Therefore
I can prepare well, in addition
, could we extend the days of the trip
if we needed
to stay more?
I am looking forward Wrong verb form
need
for
Change preposition
to
you
kind reply.
Yours faithfully,
Adam WhiteCorrect pronoun usage
your
Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on
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Style
Consider varying your sentence structure more for added sophistication. This can make the text more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
Content
For a more compelling application, it would be beneficial to include specific examples or experiences that showcase your ability to contribute meaningfully to the trip. Try to elaborate on how your background or skills can add value.
Clarity
To further improve clarity and impact, consider sharpening your queries by directly addressing specific concerns or needs you may have regarding the trip. This could involve asking about safety measures, dietary accommodations, or any special equipment needed for the students.
Content
You've done an excellent job of expressing your qualifications and enthusiasm for joining the school trip. Your background as an English teacher in Egypt provides a strong rationale for your application.
Structure
The structure of your letter, with clear sections for introduction, body, and conclusion, aids in its overall cohesiveness and readability. This logical flow makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments and understand your points.
Tone
Your polite tone and formal closing are well-suited to the context of a letter to a school official. This demonstrates respect and professionalism.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite