Some people think that the success of life is based on hard work and determination. Others, however, believe that there are more important factors, such as having money or a good appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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People

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think being successful is a crucial characteristic for everyone. There is a common belief among some

people

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that success in life stems from hard work and determination.

Nevertheless

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, another group of

people

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imply that some extra factors like being wealthy or looking attractive play an important role in being successful. In

this

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essay, I will examine both perspectives and

finally

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, I will express my opinion. Hardworking is a positive trait that helps

people

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achieve their objectives. In

this

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respect, most

people

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are convinced that unless you sweat a lot, it is almost impossible to achieve your goals.

In other words

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, they obey the famous proverb that says: "No pain no gain".

On the other hand

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people

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who advocate the second theory consider hard work one of the many necessary factors for achieving success. So, some extra parameters like

money

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and attractiveness are

also

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compulsory. Actually, if you possess the other two features, you will have a paved road toward your goals.

For example

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, if you want to launch your business, without

money

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you have nothing to say. Even more, an attractive appearance or dressing tidyly can have a profound influence on your customers. From another facet,

money

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and attractiveness target the unconscious minds of

people

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. When they meet you, they come to the conclusion that if you are affluent or attractive, you are probably a nice individual with good intentions.

Therefore

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, they try to help and support you spontaneously. The way managers discriminate between their employees is an illustrative instance of

this

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fact.

To conclude

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the aforementioned material, I must admit that some extra parameters like

money

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and attractiveness are effective on one's success rather than merely hard work and determination. It is almost impossible to ignore their pivotal role in one's thriving.

TUTOOSun May 05 2024

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examples

Expand on your examples by providing specific real-world situations to strengthen your arguments.

coherence

Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.

conclusion

Refine your conclusion by summarizing both views more clearly before stating your own opinion.

introduction

Your introduction effectively sets up the essay by clearly presenting the two opposing viewpoints.

balanced argument

You have a good balance of discussing both perspectives, showing an understanding of the task.

use of language

Effective use of an adage ('No pain no gain') enriches your argument about hard work and determination.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
discipline
resilience
effort
tenacity
external factors
financial resources
favorable appearance
perceptions
advantages
intrinsic
extrinsic
sustainable
facilitating
undeniable

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Some people think that the success of life is based on hard work and determination. Others, however, believe that there are more important factors, such as having money or a good appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You visited local beach and found out that there is a rubbish problem. In your letter: Describe the problem How it affects people on the beach Suggest what you want to do about them

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

Many children today spend a lot of time on social media which hurts their grades. what is the cause of this? What can be done to solve this ?

in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to citites, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?