Some people think that the success of life is based on hard work and determination. Others, however, believe that there are more important factors, such as having money or a good appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
People
think being successful is a crucial characteristic for everyone. There is a common belief among some people
that success in life stems from hard work and determination. Nevertheless
, another group of people
imply that some extra factors like being wealthy or looking attractive play an important role in being successful. In this
essay, I will examine both perspectives and finally
, I will express my opinion.
Hardworking is a positive trait that helps people
achieve their objectives. In this
respect, most people
are convinced that unless you sweat a lot, it is almost impossible to achieve your goals. In other words
, they obey the famous proverb that says: "No pain no gain".
On the other hand
, people
who advocate the second theory consider hard work one of the many necessary factors for achieving success. So, some extra parameters like money
and attractiveness are also
compulsory. Actually, if you possess the other two features, you will have a paved road toward your goals. For example
, if you want to launch your business, without money
you have nothing to say. Even more, an attractive appearance or dressing tidyly can have a profound influence on your customers.
From another facet, money
and attractiveness target the unconscious minds of people
. When they meet you, they come to the conclusion that if you are affluent or attractive, you are probably a nice individual with good intentions. Therefore
, they try to help and support you spontaneously. The way managers discriminate between their employees is an illustrative instance of this
fact.
To conclude
the aforementioned material, I must admit that some extra parameters like money
and attractiveness are effective on one's success rather than merely hard work and determination. It is almost impossible to ignore their pivotal role in one's thriving.Submitted by TUTOO on
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examples
Expand on your examples by providing specific real-world situations to strengthen your arguments.
coherence
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
conclusion
Refine your conclusion by summarizing both views more clearly before stating your own opinion.
introduction
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay by clearly presenting the two opposing viewpoints.
balanced argument
You have a good balance of discussing both perspectives, showing an understanding of the task.
use of language
Effective use of an adage ('No pain no gain') enriches your argument about hard work and determination.
