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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Disadvantages and advantages of having only one child. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#child
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People hold distinctive opinions regarding a debate which is linked to the advantages and disadvantages of having
one
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child
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. In my opinion, neither the benefits nor the drawbacks following automation outbalance.
Firstly
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, the major benefit of having
one
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child
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 is that parents have a chance to grow up more properly in many aspects. In the modern world, the economic situation is becoming worse and individuals can not afford their pupils' needs.
Moreover
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, with the ever-rising competition among
children
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, they face peer pressure and they want to be the most successful
,
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apply
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 and have what they want. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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light of
this
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 reality, when parents have
one
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 kid, they can easily provide their youngsters with many variety options.
For instance
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,
children
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 can go to the best schools and allocate time
their
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to their
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 hobbies thanks to the budget of their parents.
In contrast
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 to the benefits clarified above, there are
also
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 significant downsides. First and foremost, pupils have to grow deprived of
sense
Add an article
the sense
a sense
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 of sharing.
That is
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 to say,
children
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 learn and experience many things in their families at first
for
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in
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 their adult life.
Due to
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this
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 reason, having siblings is significant to lead a more meaningful life. They have a chance to be more sensitive and learn to share their toys and feelings with each other.
To conclude
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, having elucidated both perspectives, having
one
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child
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 or more
childs
Correct your spelling
children
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 have their own advantages and
disanvatages
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disadvantages
.
While
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 having
one
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child
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 can enable
children
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 to better life quality, having a sibling
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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 them to have many experiences and knowledge.
Submitted by sevdetekin17 on

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Example Detail
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Grammar
Ensure consistency in subject-verb agreement and correct use of plural nouns (e.g., 'childs' should be 'children').
Argument Depth
Consider exploring the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages directly in your conclusion to more fully answer the essay prompt.
Cohesion
Improve coherence by linking your ideas more clearly between paragraphs with transitional phrases.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and your view.
Structure
You have clearly structured paragraphs with distinct advantages and disadvantages.
Language Use
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary and sentence structures.
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