IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people said that it is prime duty of government of developing countries to provide basic amenities such as health,education. Give your opinion.

#people #duty #government #countries #amenities #health #education
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People
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 hold distinctive opinions regarding a debate which is linked to the responsibilities of governments of developing
countries
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. Some
people
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 think that the first duty of
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government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 of developing
countries
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provides
Wrong verb form
provide
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 their
people
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 with fundamental necessities,
while
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 others claim that the
government
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 should tackle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other topics. In my opinion,
although
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 there are plausible arguments to support
this
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 perspective, there are
also
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 reasons to disagree with it. The major reason why some
people
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 are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of the
government
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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developing
countries
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Fix the infinitive
to enable
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enable
Wrong verb form
enabling
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 their population
to
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apply
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health and education is that these topics
constitue
Correct your spelling
constitute
 the first step to
develop
Wrong verb form
developing
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 a country.
According to
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 the research in
the
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apply
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New
Zeland
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Zealand
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, the rate of literacy is increasing from undeveloped
countries
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 to developed
countries
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.
Moreover
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, the world encountered a
troble
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trouble
problem
that is
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virus
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a virus
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 in
the
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apply
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recent years, and the number of
people
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 who die is decreasing drastically from developed
countries
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 to undeveloped
countries
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. In
the
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apply
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light of
this
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 reality, we can easily see
that
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apply
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the importance of
the
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apply
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health and education.
In contrast
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 to the argument clarified above, there is
also
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 a significant reason to be against the idea of
prime
Correct article usage
the prime
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 duty of
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government
Add an article
the government
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 of developing
countries
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. Governments should allocate their budgets logically because there are
also
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 many considerable topics to develop the welfare of the
government
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.
For instance
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, the rate of air and water pollution is rising every passing day in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
undeveloped and developing
countries
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;
therefore
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, the governments of developing
countries
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 should take some precautions to increase
prosperity
Add an article
the prosperity
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 of their communities.
To conclude
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, having
elucidate
Wrong verb form
elucidated
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 both perspectives, I think it can be concluded that health and education levels of
government
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is
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are
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 crucial,
on the other hand
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, pollution should
handle
Wrong verb form
be handled
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 to be a developed country.
Submitted by sevdetekin17 on

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Example depth
Boost your essay by incorporating more specific examples to support your arguments. While general examples are given, more detailed instances would strengthen your position.
Grammar & Punctuation
Avoid minor grammar and punctuation errors to enhance the clarity of your opinions. For instance, pay attention to article use ('the', 'a', 'an') and plural forms.
Sentence Variety
Consider varying your sentence structures to add interest and complexity to your writing. This can make your points more compelling and keep the reader engaged.
Balance & Nuance
You have effectively presented a balanced view by considering both sides of the argument, illustrating a nuanced understanding of the topic.
Structural Clarity
The logical flow of your essay, marked by a clear introduction and conclusion and well-structured paragraphs, aids in understanding.
Use of Evidence
Your use of specific research and statistics, despite the need for more detailed examples, helps to ground your argument in reality.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic amenities
  • socio-economic progress
  • infrastructure development
  • equitable access
  • resource-constrained settings
  • budget allocations
  • international aid
  • partnerships
  • public welfare
  • catalyzes
  • imperativeness
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