IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The most importamt aim of science should be to improve people's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#importamt #aim #science #people #life
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Every day, cutting-edge scientific tools are created in order to improve and facilitate tasks done by humans.
Then
, science has had a widespread development and many people argue that its principal target must be to ameliorate the quality of life. I completely agree with
this
 statement, and in
this
 essay, I explain in detail my reasons.
To begin
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humankind has faced to myriad of illnesses and plagues that
finally
 have been overcome
due to
 the wide research in science.
For example
, the COVID-19 disease was caused by a virus completely unknown,
however
,
billion
Fix the agreement mistake
billions
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 of vaccines were created readily to
desaccelerate
Correct your spelling
does accelerate
 the rate of contagious in the population,
hence
Correct word choice
and hence
show examples
, mortality and
morbility
Correct your spelling
morbidity
mobility
 were reduced.
Nevertheless
,
hundred
Correct your spelling
hundreds
show examples
 of millions ago, vaccination was not available with devastating consequences and higher rates of death.
On the other hand
, many inventions created over time
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 marked
the
Correct article usage
apply
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history
as well as
 the betterment in our development,
such
 as the light, the wheel and the aeroplanes.
Therefore
, nowadays humans
have could explored
Wrong verb form
can explore
show examples
more easily
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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the oceans, some grounds, and even
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space.
For example
, many stars and planets have been discovered,
thus
 proposing
differents
Correct your spelling
different
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 crossings to Mars in order to study not only the environmental conditions but
also
 its own attributes.
To sum up
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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science has been
the
Correct article usage
a
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 unique way to elucidate topics that are unclear owing to the combination of trial and error.
Besides
, humans should be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the crucial role of scientists in the advancement.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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Grammar
Ensure to maintain a consistent tense throughout your essay to avoid confusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use transition words to improve the flow from one paragraph to the next.
Style
Try to vary your sentence structures to make your writing more engaging.
Task Response
You have a clear thesis statement outlining your agreement with the statement.
Task Achievement
Your use of examples to support your points is effective and clearly demonstrates your views.
Coherence & Cohesion
You maintained a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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