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Band 7.5

Some people believe that education success mostly depends on teachers. Others, however, say that it depends more on the attitude of students and their willingness to study. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is a dispute about the
education
Use synonyms
 success relies on teachers' or
students
Use synonyms
' attitudes. From my perspective, it depends on different situations, and
this
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 essay will give several reasons to support my ideas. Here are two reasons why I think educational accomplishment hinges on tutors.
First,
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the methods and the experience of an educator are significantly important because they are associated with how
students
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 can gain knowledge.
For example
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, once schoolteachers notice that
pupils
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 are more attracted to a lively approach, they could use more recreational educational platforms,
such
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 as Kahoot.
Second,
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educators' frame of mind is
also
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 significant as it directly affects children.
For instance
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, every kid has their own weakness in a specific subject;
therefore
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, if they could not receive encouragement from their governess in school, they may not feel the sense of achievement, which means
pupils
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' willingness to study would drop because of
this
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. In my opinion, there are
also
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 two reasons why
students
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' attitudes and willingness are crucial to the success of
education
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.
Although
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 everything is perfectly suited for
pupils
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,
such
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 as the teaching methods, once
students
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 choose to learn nothing in no agency, every single effort that teachers have made is a waste.
However
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, if the situation is opposite, the
education
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 would not be successful as well. Namely, if there are many ambitious
students
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 in a class who desire any kind of epistemology but their master uses the wrong way to convey, there is still a failure in
education
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. In conclusion, I strongly believe that successful
education
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 depends on both tutors and
students
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 because
pupils
Use synonyms
' attitudes and approaches that teachers choose are equally vital.

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coherence and cohesion
Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, making it easier for the reader to follow your ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to use more varied vocabulary and complex sentences, as this can help improve your overall score.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, as this will strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both views and provided your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • education
  • success
  • teachers
  • attitude
  • students
  • willingness
  • study
  • role
  • knowledge
  • support
  • inspire
  • passion
  • quality
  • ability
  • motivated
  • eager
  • self-driven
  • resources
  • strong
  • relationship
  • outcomes
  • engage
  • perform
  • balance
  • contribute
  • results
  • important
  • combination
  • best
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