Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Over the years, many animal species have become endangered and some are already extinct. In
this
essay, the causes of
this
issue will be analyzed with relevant solutions. One of the main reasons for
this
problem is deforestation.
This
has resulted in the destruction of habitats and loss of biodiversity of some animal species that are already at risk of extinction.
For example
, consider the black tiger, it has been declared that
this
mammal is endangered. But
due to
the continuous cutting of trees, its living places in tree tops
as well as
some species in its food chain have been lost. To address
this
problem, the government should enforce laws to prohibit illegal deforestation and those who violate these policies should be strictly punished.
Moreover
, individuals should act more responsibly to acknowledge people who are unaware of
this
issue. A
further
cause that can be highlighted is the illegal trading of animals that have monetary value for their body parts.
For instance
, elephant tusks are extremely valuable and hunters acquire these by poaching tuskers.
As a result
, the number of remaining creatures is going to be reduced and
finally
will be wiped out. from the Earth. An appropriate solution for
this
would be to create new task forces to arrest dealers who have been engaging in the black markets to sell animal organs in unlawful ways. In conclusion, deforestation and unofficial selling of animal parts are the leading causes of loss of some animal groups from the world.
However
, the active involvement of not only the government but
also
individuals can irradiate
this
burning problem and protect valuable organisms for the future.
Submitted by wm.asanka.sandaruwan on

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Task Achievement
Your essay efficiently addresses the task by discussing the reasons behind the extinction and the potential solutions. To further improve your scores, try to develop your ideas and examples with more depth and detail.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have structured your essay well with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, enhancing the transition between ideas can make your argument more powerful. Using a wider range of linking words could improve the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
You successfully discussed both the causes and solutions regarding the extinction of animal species, which directly responds to the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically structured with distinct sections making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
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