Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many
people
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believe that
people
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on over the world may use
products
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from anywhere they want and
that is
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a reason why
nations
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tend to be similar.
While
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this
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trend may bring about some drawbacks, I would argue they are eclipsed by the benefits. On the one hand,
while
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globalization
have
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has
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helped countries
easier
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apply
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to interact, it
also
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begin
Wrong verb form
begun
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to combine unique societies together. The success of the representative cultures all over the
wold
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world
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made the others follow them. When the cultures start losing their characteristics, they
also
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lose
the
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apply
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global diversity.
For instance
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,
the
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apply
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Vietnamese young
people
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show a preference for enjoying musical
products
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from the US or the UK.
Consequently
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, the traditional musical
products
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of Vietnam
such
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as the Cải lương, Tuồng, Chèo and so on gradually become extinct.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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opine that
this
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development plays a fundamental role in
improve
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improving
show examples
people
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’s living standards because residents are able to access the latest advances
of
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in
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science through
products
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and services to cater for their needs.
For example
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, when the
covid-19
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COVID-19
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pandemic appeared on over the world, the developing
nations
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have
Wrong verb form
had
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not invented medicines or vaccines yet to cure residents.
Therefore
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, it
led to be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
dangerous for residents in these
nations
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,
importing
Correct word choice
and importing
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medicines and vaccines from
the
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apply
show examples
developed
nations
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has helped poor countries
to
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apply
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protect
citizens
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their citizens
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and control the pandemic.
As a result
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,
people
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in
Change preposition
around
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the world have cured the
covid-19
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COVID-19
show examples
pandemic. In conclusion, to the best of my
knowledge
Add a comma
knowledge,
show examples
the advantages of
this
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development outweigh its drawbacks.
People
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have a right to enjoy
products
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anywhere they want.
Besides
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, they
also
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should conserve their traditional
products
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.
Submitted by weezel on

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Task Achievement
Work on integrating more specific examples to strengthen your arguments in both the positive and negative aspects discussed.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider diversifying your linking phrases and structure to enhance the flow and coherence of your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view on the issue, effectively discussing both sides of the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good job on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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