Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Many
people
believe that people
on over the world may use products
from anywhere they want and that is
a reason why nations
tend to be similar. While
this
trend may bring about some drawbacks, I would argue they are eclipsed by the benefits.
On the one hand, while
globalization have
helped countries Change the verb form
has
easier
to interact, it Correct word choice
apply
also
begin
to combine unique societies together. The success of the representative cultures all over the Wrong verb form
begun
wold
made the others follow them. When the cultures start losing their characteristics, they Correct your spelling
world
also
lose the
global diversity. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, the
Vietnamese young Correct article usage
apply
people
show a preference for enjoying musical products
from the US or the UK. Consequently
, the traditional musical products
of Vietnam such
as the Cải lương, Tuồng, Chèo and so on gradually become extinct.
On the other hand
, some people
opine that this
development plays a fundamental role in improve
Change the verb form
improving
people
’s living standards because residents are able to access the latest advances of
science through Change preposition
in
products
and services to cater for their needs. For example
, when the covid-19
pandemic appeared on over the world, the developing Correct your spelling
COVID-19
nations
have
not invented medicines or vaccines yet to cure residents. Wrong verb form
had
Therefore
, it led to be
dangerous for residents in these Wrong verb form
is
nations
, importing
medicines and vaccines from Correct word choice
and importing
the
developed Correct article usage
apply
nations
has helped poor countries to
protect Fix the infinitive
apply
citizens
and control the pandemic. Correct pronoun usage
their citizens
As a result
, people
in
the world have cured the Change preposition
around
covid-19
pandemic.
In conclusion, to the best of my Correct your spelling
COVID-19
knowledge
the advantages of Add a comma
knowledge,
this
development outweigh its drawbacks. People
have a right to enjoy products
anywhere they want. Besides
, they also
should conserve their traditional products
.Submitted by weezel on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Work on integrating more specific examples to strengthen your arguments in both the positive and negative aspects discussed.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider diversifying your linking phrases and structure to enhance the flow and coherence of your essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay provides a balanced view on the issue, effectively discussing both sides of the argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good job on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint.