Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Many people have an opinion that learners have to spend all their finances on their planned learning because education can have a positive effect on the community.
This
writer agrees with that idea and will give you some of the best reasons for that problem. First things, the benefits that recruitment receive are wide. When they spend their profit on study, they can learn way better, and gain more knowledge about their eventual career. With funding from the educational institution, admission
can have better behaviour in learning by heart. Moreover
, undergraduate
degree can motivate Add an article
an undergraduate
admission
to study .Also
by studying at educational
institution, they can get a high-paying job in imminent.
Moving on to the next part, it could be said that civilization can provide Add an article
an educational
the educational
admission
with a portion of realistic experiences. But realistic is not enough, admission
should learn more knowledge Change preposition
from
in
books to have a solid foundation. So the benefit of Change preposition
from
a
Change the article
an
academy
education can be better than culture for sure because it brings them a field of good things. Replace the word
academic
For example
, enlistment who study in academy
can have equals and have an advantage over the ones who learn in the community. In conclusion , it’s true that when enlistment Correct article usage
an academy
spend
their finances in school can help themChange the verb form
spends
Change preposition
with a
a
area of perspective. But Change the article
an
also
nation
has contributed a piece to people who learn in vocational schools . I believe that in future I could spend all my money on Correct article usage
the nation
academy
education rather than nation because I want to get high-paying jobs and enough knowledge to do those jobs recently.Replace the word
academic
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Task Response
You've made a strong effort to address the topic, but ensuring clearer and more precise arguments would enhance your task response. Try to delineate your ideas more distinctly to demonstrate comprehensive understanding.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporating a variety of linking phrases would improve the flow of your essay. Avoid repetitive structures for a more engaging read.
Task Achievement
Providing specific examples to support your points will strengthen your argument, making it more persuasive and relevant.
Task Response
You clearly express an opinion and attempt to support it, which is fundamental for the task response.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your response effectively.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite