Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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The majority of people believe that
students
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should spend their money
in
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on studying
show examples
study
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due to
Linking Words
the advantage of
educations
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education
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in
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at
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university
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better than society.
This
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writer totally
agree
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agrees
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with
this
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statement and the reasons will be explained below.
These day
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This day
These days
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,
students
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have a lot of
chance
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chances
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to go to
university
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so they spend their money
for
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on
show examples
their
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study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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not
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, not
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society,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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brings many positive changes for them.
Firstly
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, if
students
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choose to go to
university
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, they will find a sustainable job easily after leaving
university
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. Ample evidence from a number of academic studies carried out in Viet Nam by the National
University
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in 2020 has proven the authenticity of
this
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matter.
Secondly
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, luckily for them,
education
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the education
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environment is an excellent environment for
students
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to widen
a
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their
show examples
circle social. For
xample
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example
, peers whom they meet in
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study
Add an article
the study
show examples
are friendly and not difficult to share their
emotion
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emotions
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than
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as
show examples
some friends in society. On the other side, unless
students
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pay
full
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the full
show examples
cost
in
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of studying
show examples
study
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,
students
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will not need
the
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apply
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improvement from their
family
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families
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for financial support because they can earn
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
few
Correct quantifier usage
little
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money after completing high
schools
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school
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.
For instance
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, a student employed in a coffee shop may have to work many months in order to purchase a new smartphone. When
pople
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people
gain work experience, people will be
eqquiped
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equipped
with
knowledge
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the knowledge
show examples
to tackle the problems, they are fooled harder than some people. In conclusion, after carefully considering many aspects of the given issue in the topic,
i
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I
show examples
still agree with student spend full cos
in
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on
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their own
study
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that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
are more significant than the disadvantages
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task achievement
Try to present a clear thesis statement at the beginning to directly address the question.
task achievement
Support your main points with more varied and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Try to keep your arguments focused on how university education benefits individuals specifically and draw more direct comparisons to societal benefits.
coherence cohesion
Mind grammatical accuracy and punctuation to maintain clarity and professionalism in your writing.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear position throughout, which is good for task achievement.
task achievement
You have made an effort to provide examples and reasons for your argument, which enhances your argument's credibility.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the essay's main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
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