Students should pay full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

The majority of people believe that
students
should spend their money
in
Change preposition
on studying
show examples
study
due to
the advantage of
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
better than society.
This
writer totally
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
with
this
statement and the reasons will be explained below.
These day
Change the determiner
This day
These days
show examples
,
students
have a lot of
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
to go to
university
so they spend their money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
society,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
brings many positive changes for them.
Firstly
, if
students
choose to go to
university
, they will find a sustainable job easily after leaving
university
. Ample evidence from a number of academic studies carried out in Viet Nam by the National
University
in 2020 has proven the authenticity of
this
matter.
Secondly
, luckily for them,
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
environment is an excellent environment for
students
to widen
a
Change the word
their
show examples
circle social. For
xample
Correct your spelling
example
, peers whom they meet in
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
are friendly and not difficult to share their
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
some friends in society. On the other side, unless
students
pay
full
Add an article
the full
show examples
cost
in
Change preposition
of studying
show examples
study
,
students
will not need
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
improvement from their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
for financial support because they can earn
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
few
Correct quantifier usage
little
show examples
money after completing high
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
.
For instance
, a student employed in a coffee shop may have to work many months in order to purchase a new smartphone. When
pople
Correct your spelling
people
gain work experience, people will be
eqquiped
Correct your spelling
equipped
with
knowledge
Add an article
the knowledge
show examples
to tackle the problems, they are fooled harder than some people. In conclusion, after carefully considering many aspects of the given issue in the topic,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
still agree with student spend full cos
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their own
study
that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
are more significant than the disadvantages
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to present a clear thesis statement at the beginning to directly address the question.
task achievement
Support your main points with more varied and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Try to keep your arguments focused on how university education benefits individuals specifically and draw more direct comparisons to societal benefits.
coherence cohesion
Mind grammatical accuracy and punctuation to maintain clarity and professionalism in your writing.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear position throughout, which is good for task achievement.
task achievement
You have made an effort to provide examples and reasons for your argument, which enhances your argument's credibility.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the essay's main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
Look at other essays: