some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both these views anf give your opinion

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In different
countries
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countries,
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the age standard for entering
the
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apply
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primary
school
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varies. People have
controversal
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controversial
perspectives on
this
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issue: whether it is more effective to
end
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send
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children
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to
school
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at four
years
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old or at seven
years
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.
This
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essay will outline that
kids
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need to
be send
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be sent
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to
school
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at four
years
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old for several reasons. First of all, at four
years
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old
children
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become extremely curious about their environment and how many processes happen in
human's
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human
show examples
life.
However
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,
usually
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usually,
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the majority of parents cannot give them a proper explanation of some difficult issues, which
kids
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are interested in.
For example
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, recently my nephew asked me how
do
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apply
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flowers
growand
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grow
I did not know how to explain
him
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apply
show examples
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this
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a
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complexed
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complex
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scheme comprehensively. What is more, I suppose that teachers will not face challenges
to describe
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in describing
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this
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kind of
procedures
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procedure
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.
This
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age
considered
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is considered
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to be
as
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apply
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the most cognitive one,
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consequently
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consequently,
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parents should not miss the chance to give their
children
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fundamental education.
Secondly
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, at the present
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time
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time,
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the
school
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programs are vastly complicated and integrated. In order to get
fairly
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a fairly
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great education and to study in the best universities students must pass
variety
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a variety
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of examinations as IELTS or SAT. Some experts consider that even
twelve year
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twelve-year
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program is not enough
for covering
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to cover
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all of the
necesary
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necessary
materials for taking these tests.
Furthermore
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, nowadays,
kids
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tend to play video games using
the
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apply
show examples
electric devices, which harms them psychologically and physically as well. Sending
children
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early to
school
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will not totally erase their
time
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to play.
Nevertherless
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Nevertheless
, it will be helpful for
kids
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to learn how to manage their
time
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by setting
game
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games
show examples
and studying in
a
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the
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right order. To summarize, from my personal perspective, it is better to start formal education earlier, for the reason that it gives many opportunities to get more knowledge and
also
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to adjust the
time
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without mixing up all of those hard subjects in a high or secondary
school
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.
Submitted by akhmedova.mb on

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task achievement
Your essay should present a balanced discussion of both views before giving your opinion. You've mostly focused on the advantages of starting school early. Make sure to discuss why some people believe children should start school later and include specific examples for both viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by relevant details. Try to introduce and conclude each paragraph appropriately.
coherence cohesion
The essay reads well, but some sentences feel slightly fragmented. Using a variety of sentence structures could enhance fluidity. Also, be mindful of minor spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'controversal' should be 'controversial,' and 'complexed' should be 'complex.'
coherence cohesion
You have made good use of transitional phrases like 'First of all' and 'Secondly,' which guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Your personal anecdote about your nephew adds a compelling element to your argument and helps to illustrate your point effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social interactions
  • educational foundation
  • structured learning
  • emotional and psychological readiness
  • effective learning
  • cost-effective
  • childcare centers
  • explore their interests
  • creativity
  • love of learning
  • parental burden
  • economic considerations
  • childhood freedom
  • natural learning
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