some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that they should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both these views anf give your opinion
In different
countries
the age standard for entering Add a comma
countries,
the
primary Correct article usage
apply
school
varies. People have controversal
perspectives on Correct your spelling
controversial
this
issue: whether it is more effective to end
Correct your spelling
send
children
to school
at four years
old or at seven years
. This
essay will outline that kids
need to be send
to Change the verb form
be sent
school
at four years
old for several reasons.
First of all, at four years
old children
become extremely curious about their environment and how many processes happen in human's
life. Change noun form
human
However
, usually
the majority of parents cannot give them a proper explanation of some difficult issues, which Add a comma
usually,
kids
are interested in. For example
, recently my nephew asked me how do
flowers Unnecessary verb
apply
growand
I did not know how to explain Correct your spelling
grow
him
Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
Correct determiner usage
a
complexed
scheme comprehensively. What is more, I suppose that teachers will not face challenges Replace the word
complex
to describe
Change preposition
in describing
this
kind of procedures
. Fix the agreement mistake
procedure
This
age considered
to be Add a missing verb
is considered
as
the most cognitive one, Change preposition
apply
consequently
parents should not miss the chance to give their Add a comma
consequently,
children
fundamental education.
Secondly
, at the present time
the Add a comma
time,
school
programs are vastly complicated and integrated. In order to get fairly
great education and to study in the best universities students must pass Add an article
a fairly
variety
of examinations as IELTS or SAT. Some experts consider that even Add an article
a variety
twelve year
program is not enough Add a hyphen
twelve-year
for covering
all of the Change preposition
to cover
necesary
materials for taking these tests. Correct your spelling
necessary
Furthermore
, nowadays, kids
tend to play video games using the
electric devices, which harms them psychologically and physically as well. Sending Correct article usage
apply
children
early to school
will not totally erase their time
to play. Nevertherless
, it will be helpful for Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
kids
to learn how to manage their time
by setting game
and studying in Fix the agreement mistake
games
a
right order.
To summarize, from my personal perspective, it is better to start formal education earlier, for the reason that it gives many opportunities to get more knowledge and Correct article usage
the
also
to adjust the time
without mixing up all of those hard subjects in a high or secondary school
.Submitted by akhmedova.mb on
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task achievement
Your essay should present a balanced discussion of both views before giving your opinion. You've mostly focused on the advantages of starting school early. Make sure to discuss why some people believe children should start school later and include specific examples for both viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by relevant details. Try to introduce and conclude each paragraph appropriately.
coherence cohesion
The essay reads well, but some sentences feel slightly fragmented. Using a variety of sentence structures could enhance fluidity. Also, be mindful of minor spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'controversal' should be 'controversial,' and 'complexed' should be 'complex.'
coherence cohesion
You have made good use of transitional phrases like 'First of all' and 'Secondly,' which guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Your personal anecdote about your nephew adds a compelling element to your argument and helps to illustrate your point effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.