IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Students should pay the full cost for their own study, because education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#students #cost #study #education #individuals #society
It is argued that
students
 are better off paying for their full courses, as university education gives advantages to individuals, not to society. Personally, the writer believes that paying
full
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the full
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 cost is essential to help
students
 be aware of the actual value of their study and
therefore
 have more responsibility for their learning, despite some exceptions in which the
government
 should give free slots to those who are in harsh conditions. First of all, paying the full fee needs to be compulsory. It is so as to increase the value of the lecture when there are more and more learning lessons available not only at school but
also
 on the Internet.
Hence
, in order to alert
students
 to
being
Wrong verb form
be
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 focused on their major, it is important to pay for the entire course so that they can eventually recognize the necessity of
following
this
 lecture.
However
, there are exceptions relating to
this
 term. The need to fully pay the courses’ fees can put a significant strain on
students
’ finances, especially those who are doing part-time jobs at the same time or, basically, are living in difficult conditions. In these situations, a part of the community emphasizes a lifting hand from the
government
 in the fee, even giving them free lectures to ease the financial pressure and help the college
students
 fully concentrate on their studying progress without any interruptions. In fact,
this
 is usually undertaken in the form of scholarships given to those who have worked hard throughout a period of time and achieved excellent scores in certain subjects.
Additionally
, these are given not only by the
government
 but
also
 by plenty of profit-making and non-profit organizations. In conclusion, the writer partly agrees with the statement
due to
 the importance of raising awareness among
students
 of how valuable the money they spend on learning is. Notwithstanding, there should be the
government
 and some organizations that will assist those who are having troubles in finance to ease the existing difficulties.

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coherence cohesion
Provide clearer, more concise introductions to your points, ensuring that each paragraph has a distinct main idea that is fully developed and closes neatly.
task achievement
Enhance your argument with more specific examples and data to support your claims, increasing the persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express your ideas more precisely and interestingly.
task achievement
Your essay presents a well-balanced view on the topic, acknowledging the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, reinforcing the essay's overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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