IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Students should pay the full cost for their own study because university education benefits. To what extent do your agree or disagree

#students #cost #study #university #education
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Nowadays, it is important to know that the
government
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 turned to investing in
education
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 with some policies
one
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 of which is sponsorship
money
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 for studies.
In contrast
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, some groups thought that
students
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 should pay the full cost of studying.
This
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 essay will discuss the profits and drawbacks of
this
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 site and give the writer's opinion.
One
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 of the facts must be that the growth of
education
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 depends on the quality of training about services, teachers, and the teaching process,... These applications must require a lot of
money
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, usually from the
government
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, but some regions do not have enough budget, which turns into an unsolving problem for the
government
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, it just be easier when the
money
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 comes from people who use the studying services.
Moreover
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, spending their own
money
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 means that they lose something on studies and will feel more responsible with their career.
Therefore
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,the
money
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 that comes from users will improve
education
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. On the contrary side, citizens will get some drawbacks when
this
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 policy is applied.
One
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 highlighted that the economy will decrease with the extra cost of studying and some individuals even cannot go to school, it will cause lost studying cases and
education
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 will be destroyed when school is just for the well-off. On the
one
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 hand , paying wages for studying creates
for
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apply
show examples
school managers the chances that they can run some programs with extra cost and it will make the knowledge
in
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of
show examples
students
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 become unbalanced.
Thus
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, the
students
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' level will be divided too much mostly depending on how much they spend on
education
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instead
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 of how much potential they get. In conclusion, scholarships should be paid for by
students
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due to
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 their responsibility for their culture and the
government
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's cash should be spent on solving another problem.
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Introduction Clarity
Ensure the introduction clearly presents your viewpoint. It's important to explicitly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement to guide the reader effectively through your argument.
Supporting Examples
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your case by showing real-world applications or consequences of the policies discussed.
Transition Usage
Work on clearer transition phrases between paragraphs and within them to smooth out the flow of ideas. This will help in making your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.
Precision in Expression
Pay attention to the precision in expressing your ideas. Avoid generalized or ambiguous statements to ensure your arguments are understood as intended.
Argument Balance
Try to balance both sides of the argument more effectively in your body paragraphs before providing a reasoned conclusion. This will ensure a comprehensive exploration of the topic.
Topic Engagement
You've engaged well with the topic, showing an understanding of the complexity of educational funding.
Conclusion Clarity
Your conclusion effectively recapitulates your standpoint, offering a clear stance which is good practice.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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