IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Students should pay their full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society.To what extent you agree or disagree?

#students #cost #study #university #education #individuals #society
It is believed that undergraduates should pay the full cost on their own
due to
 the benefits of individuals that are given by
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 better than society. Personally, I disagree with the statement and
this
 essay cites and provides evidence. Since there are a variety of circumstances in which
students
 do not have adequate finances for studying, it is understandable why
scholarships
 should be accepted at university.
To begin
 with, undergraduates who want to accomplish the
scholarships
 tend to be studious and hard-working, potentially leading to an increase in reputation because
students
 are motivated and work hard to achieve the
scholarships
.
Furthermore
,
scholarships
 can help
students
 to afford the cost with an exorbitant price, it alleviates the financial burden.
On the other hand
, the percentage of
students
 quitting higher education tends to increase. The first and foremost reason is that higher education requires a vast amount of money to pay, undergraduates can not pay the cost if they are inadequate in finance.
As a result
, the finances of some nations can be reduced
due to
 the lack of knowledge in the major.
Besides
 that, it may lead to the decline of
students
 who have good knowledge. In conclusion, I disagree with the statement because scholarship should be excited to alleviate the financial burden
as well as
 avoid some problematic issues related to the nations.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To strengthen your essay, consider providing more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This will help to make your points clearer and more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to enhance the flow of your essay. This will improve the reader's ability to follow your argument and maintain engagement throughout.
General
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are distinct and effectively frame your essay. Offering a clear standpoint in the introduction and summarizing your key points in the conclusion can make your argument more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your argument is coherent and you've successfully introduced a counter-argument, adding depth to your discussion.
Task Achievement
You've maintained a clear position throughout the essay, which aligns well with the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • beneficiary
  • accountability
  • economic mobility
  • social inequalities
  • subsidized education
  • vocational training
  • deliberate choice
  • earning potential
  • public funding
  • societal benefits
  • innovation
  • self-financing
  • social mobility
  • economic equality
  • grants
  • scholarships
What to do next:
Look at other essays: