The graph shows the proportion of four different material that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.

The graph shows the proportion of four different material that were recycled from 1982 to 2010 in a particular country.
The line graph compares the recycling rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paper
and
cupboard
Fix the agreement mistake
cupboards
show examples
,
glass
containers
, aluminium cans,
plastics
Correct word choice
and plastics
show examples
between 1982 and 2010.
Overall
, points of recycled
paper
and
cupboard
and
glass
containers
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
firstly
decreased slowly and
then
the range of recovered
paper
and
cupboard
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased slightly
whereas
the number of recycled other items
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased. In 1982, the rate of recycled
paper
and
cupboard
Fix the agreement mistake
cupboards
show examples
was about the degree of 65
then
that
point
was fluctuate
Change the verb form
was fluctuated
was fluctuating
show examples
between 65 and 80 from 1982 to 1994. Until 2010 the degree of recovered
paper
and
cupboard
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped slightly to 70. The
point
of
glass
containers
was 50 in 1982 and
then
it went down slowly to 40 in 1990. The recycled
glass
containers
were gone
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
up significantly to 60 in 2010. The
started
Replace the word
starting
show examples
point
of recovered
aluminum
Change the spelling
aluminium
show examples
cans was about 5 in 1986 and
then
the range of recycled aluminium cans per cent was growth substantially to more than 40 in 2010. The
point
of the showtime of the rate of recovered plastics was less than 5 and the
happened
Verb problem
apply
show examples
time of that was 1990 and until 2010 the recycled plastic per cent was increased slightly to less than 10.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words paper, cupboard, glass, containers, point with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.

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