Some people think that sports is very important for society. Others, however, argue that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

FEW INDIVIDUALS BELIEVE THAT
SPORTS
PLAY A CRUCIAL ROLE IN THE SOCIETY.
HOWEVER
, SOME INDIVIDUALS CLAIM THAT
SPORTS
IS NOTHING BUT A TIME PASS. IN
THIS
ESSAY I WILL DISCUSS BOTH THE POINTS AND STATE MY OPINION IN MY FORMAL VIEW. I BELIEVE THAT PLAYING
SPORTS
SERVES A VERY IMPORTANT ASPECT IN THE COMMUNITY. THERE IS NO DOUBT THAT IN
THIS
ERA, MANY YOUNGSTERS ARE PLAYING FOR THE INTERNATIONAL CLUB.
THIS
MAINLY KEEPS THE YOUNGSTERS ACTIVE.
WHEREAS
, APPRECIATING THE YOUTH TO PLAY
SPORTS
DOES NOT JUST
MAKES
Correct subject-verb agreement
MAKE
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THEM MORE CONFIDENT BUT
ALSO
FOCUSES ON BRINGING THE NATION'S NAME TO THE TOP.
FOR EXAMPLE
, IN
INDIA
, PEOPLE TREAT CRICKETERS AS
GOD
Fix the agreement mistake
GODS
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, AS THEY BELIEVE CRICKET IS LIKE A RELIGION,
FOR INSTANCE
, IN 2014
INDIA
WON THE CRICKET WORLDCUP WHICH MADE
INDIA
A PROUD NATION, AND
INDIA
WELCOMED THE PLAYERS WITH GREAT HONOUR INTO THE COUNTRY.
ON THE OTHER HAND
, MANY PEOPLE THINK THAT
SPORTS
IS ONLY PLAYED AS AN ENTERTAINMENT IN FREE TIME.
HOWEVER
,
THIS
ACTIVITY KEEPS YOU BUSY IN YOUR DAY-TO-DAY LIFE AND
ADDITIONALLY
KEEPS THE INDIVIDUAL ACTIVE, BY WHICH THE YOUNGSTER INCREASES THEIR LIFESPAN AND HAVE A HEALTHY PHYSIQUE. STUDIES HAVE REVEALED THAT
,
Remove the comma
apply
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YOUNGSTERS WHO PLAY
SPORTS
ON A REGULAR BASIS ARE STATISCALLY PROVEN TO LIVE MORE THAN THOSE WHO PLAY DO NOT PLAY
SPORTS
. IN CONCLUSION,
SPORTS
ARE NOT ONLY PLAYED FOR THE SAKE OF PASSING THE TIME, BUT,
SPORTS
MUST BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AND MUST BE PLAYED TO MAKE THEIR COUNTRY PROUD.
HOWEVER
,
THIS
GIVES THE YOUTH LEADERSHIP SKILLS TO SERVE AS A BETTER CITIZEN FOR THEIR COUNTRY.
Submitted by khadiii60 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures to enhance readability.
task achievement
In discussions, ensure to explore both viewpoints thoroughly before concluding.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to better express your views.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs to clearly separate your ideas, making sure each paragraph discusses a single main idea.
task achievement
When providing examples, aim for specificity and detail to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Successfully introduced the topic and provided a clear conclusion reflecting your stance.
task achievement
Effectively used examples, like India's cricket success, to support your view.
task achievement
Presented a balanced discussion by considering both viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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