IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

The company you work for has decided to close the cafeteria, as the staff is not using it much. You are not happy with the decision. Write a letter to the director  Give reasons of low usage  How it will affect the staff  Suggest ways to improve it

#company #work #cafeteria #staff #decision #director #usage
Dear Sir, I am the director of the Brookmere Dental Company situated on the first floor of our company. I am writing
this
 letter regarding the closure of the community cafeteria decided earlier
this
 week. The decision is right up to some extent but the reduced use of staff in the Cafe is
due to
 some justifiable reasons.
Firstly
 ,the quality of the food being served is objectionable and hygiene is
also
 not up to the standard. The consumption of food from
this
 cafe recently caused food poisoning and admitted to the hospital.
Secondly
, the air conditioning does not properly especially in summer. If the cafeteria is closed it would result in delaying emergencies and reducing the number of customers. we can improve the conditions of the cafe by introducing Health and safety procedures and conducting inspections monthly.
Furthermore
, renovation and installation of ducts can reduce the summer arguments. Looking forward to hearing from you Yours Faithfully, GABA
Submitted by athulyaraj0011 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your letter clearly addresses each point in the prompt. While you did a good job in addressing the concerns, try to enrich your suggestions with more specific and actionable solutions.
coherence and cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your ideas. Introduce each problem or suggestion more clearly and connect your points for a smoother read.
task achievement
Pay attention to small grammatical errors and consider a varied vocabulary to express your points more effectively.
task achievement
You've clearly outlined reasons for the low usage of the cafeteria and how its closure might affect the staff.
coherence and cohesion
Your polite tone and format are appropriate for a letter to a director, which is great for maintaining professionalism.
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