Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits.

#celebrity #film #star #sports #personality

Being famous always has

pros

and

cons

and I will explore them by comparing

below

Correct pronoun usage

them below

show examples

. / these will be explored below. Looking first at the

pros

. Stars are often rich and can spend huge amounts of money without worrying. They

sometimes

Add a missing verb

are sometimes

show examples

influential and usually admired, Moving to the

cons

. Famous people suffer from

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of privacy because they are recognized in public. Their high profile restricts them from many activities which most

normal

Change the word

normally

show examples

enjoy.

In addition

, they become exhausted resulting in little free time and possible illness. Looking at the issues above, my view is that the

cons

outweigh the

pros

in my point of view, the

cons

outweigh the

pros

. My main reason for

this

decision is that especially the loss

privacy

Change preposition

of privacy

show examples

which I highly value, is not worth and advantages which come with being a celebrity.

Submitted by nugentsr on Mon May 06 2024

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Detailed Examples

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Grammar and Style

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Thesis Statement

You have a clear thesis statement expressing your main idea effectively.

Organisation

Your essay structure is logically organized with clear separation between pros and cons.

Conclusion

You've successfully concluded your essay by restating your viewpoint, which reinforces your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

138 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Public scrutiny
Intrusive
Endorsements
Sponsorships
Financial security
High-profile collaborations
Social influence
Philanthropic efforts
Trust issues
Mental health challenges
Substance abuse
Pressures of celebrity
Expectations
Disconnect from reality
Normalcy

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Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits.

Fully explain your ideas

The consumption of the world’s resources (oil, and water etc) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are the causes and solutions?

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. what are the advantages and disadvantages for both individuals and companies to shoppin online?

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

Some people think that the government should strictly control the supply of fresh water, as it is a limited resource, while others say that it should not be regulated. Discuss both sides/views and give your opinion.