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Band 2

Being a celebrity - such as a famous film star or sports personality - brings problems as well as benefits.

#celebrity #film #star #sports #personality
Being famous always has
pros
 and
cons
 and I will explore them by comparing
below
Correct pronoun usage
them below
show examples
. / these will be explored below. Looking first at the
pros
. Stars are often rich and can spend huge amounts of money without worrying. They
sometimes
Add a missing verb
are sometimes
show examples
 influential and usually admired, Moving to the
cons
. Famous people suffer from
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of privacy because they are recognized in public. Their high profile restricts them from many activities which most
normal
Change the word
normally
show examples
 enjoy.
In addition
, they become exhausted resulting in little free time and possible illness. Looking at the issues above, my view is that the
cons
 outweigh the
pros
 in my point of view, the
cons
 outweigh the
pros
. My main reason for
this
 decision is that especially the loss
privacy
Change preposition
of privacy
show examples
 which I highly value, is not worth and advantages which come with being a celebrity.
Submitted by nugentsr on

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Detailed Examples
Try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your views on the pros and cons of being famous.
Idea Development
Work on elaborating your ideas further to enhance clarity and depth in your argument.
Essay Structure
Maintain a consistent and clear structure throughout your essay to improve readability.
Grammar and Style
Pay close attention to grammatical accuracy and vary your sentence structures to enhance your writing.
Thesis Statement
You have a clear thesis statement expressing your main idea effectively.
Organisation
Your essay structure is logically organized with clear separation between pros and cons.
Conclusion
You've successfully concluded your essay by restating your viewpoint, which reinforces your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public scrutiny
  • Intrusive
  • Endorsements
  • Sponsorships
  • Financial security
  • High-profile collaborations
  • Social influence
  • Philanthropic efforts
  • Trust issues
  • Mental health challenges
  • Substance abuse
  • Pressures of celebrity
  • Expectations
  • Disconnect from reality
  • Normalcy
What to do next:
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