Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

It is a common belief that there are more advantages to charging
people
for
admission
to a museum.
However
, I firmly believe that charging free
admission
to art galleries or
museums
is more beneficial because not only it can encourage children to learn cultural things but
also
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
show examples
more students and
tourists
.
To begin
with, it is true that there are too many
people
in art
museums
if there is no entrance fee.
Furthermore
, some
people
concerned
Add a missing verb
are concerned
show examples
that
museums
cannot survive without making money.
However
, I think
museums
can make profits from
tourists
who are purchasing various items from gift shops, and
also
numerous visitors donate money.
For instance
, the National Gallery in London
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
does not charge
admission
to their visitors.
However
, they are running the place very well and they do not have any financial difficulties as many
tourists
donate their money to the gallery. On top of that, charging free
admission
can encourage children to learn valuable lessons equally. If there are limited educational opportunities
due to
expensive entrance fees, not every child can benefit from museum experiences.
Furthermore
, free
admission
can attract more
people
like students and
tourists
and it can lead to
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
of the local community. For these reasons, there might be advantages of charging
people
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
entrance
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
to art
museums
or galleries, it is evident that free
admission
is more beneficial for everybody as many
people
can experience cultural things,
Correct word choice
and tradition
show examples
tradition
Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
show examples
, and learn various lessons equally and it can eventually lead to developing local communities and societies in a good way.
Submitted by hmhy0326 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure a balanced argument by exploring both sides in depth before stating your own opinion more distinctly, to strengthen the task response.
coherence cohesion
Utilize a wider range of linking words and organize paragraphs effectively to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Effective use of an example to support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay and reinforcing your stance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: