There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Students
nowadays are under a lot of pressure to achieve academic success in order to get into a good university or secure a well-paid job. For
this
reason, some people argue that schools
need to focus on academic subjects
and vocational subjects
should therefore
not be taught at schools
. I would argue that while
academic skills
are important, schools
need to teach a wide range of both academic and more skills
-based subjects
.
Firstly
, school
should not only be about teaching academic skills
but a wider range of life skills
so that students
can join society when leaving school
. Practical subjects
can help to teach these skills
to students
. For example
, physical education teaches students
how to work as part of a team and also
the importance of being healthy. Furthermore
, if cookery is taught then
students
will learn a great deal about health and nutrition.
Secondly
, academic subjects
are not of equal importance for all students
. There is the possibility of including more practical non-academic subjects
on the syllabus like woodwork, textile design and computing skills
. If they study these subjects
students
will increase their employment prospects and could help them to secure employment when they leave school
. It is important to remember that not all students
will continue to higher education and schools
need to enable those students
to find work.
Finally
, too much pressure should not be put on school
students
. Taking part in non-academic subjects
like art, music or drama gives students
the opportunity to be creative. This
could help them to manage stress degrees and be more productive in other areas.
In conclusion, I would argue that although
academic subjects
are important, this
should not be the only focus of a Correct pronoun usage
they
school
syllabus. There are a number of benefits to teaching students
non-academic subjects
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task achievement
The essay presents a clear and complete response to the prompt, addressing the importance of both academic and non-academic subjects. However, making stronger connections between ideas and explicitly countering the opposing argument could enhance your position.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, but the transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be smoother. Using more cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases, will help to better guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
The introduction is clear and sets up the argument effectively, outlining the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay’s main points and reinforces the argument.
content
The essay includes relevant examples and arguments supporting the inclusion of non-academic subjects, demonstrating their value in education.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
